Melancholic Derivations

April 30, 2007

Lyrics Re-written

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my priorities you've re-arranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
And I haven't felt like this since before facing cold hard facts

And now I know based on my past history
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my former melancholy
But you've given me a reason
To take another chance
Now I need you despite the fact that you always pwn my Sates :)

And now I know
I've already made transgressions
Than any friend should ever let
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet
Don't write me off just yet

Labels: Songs

Traveller fell apart at 1:43 AM

April 29, 2007

Contused Confusion

If there's one thing that I've been starkly and constantly reminded of, it's that romance is similar to a chess game. There are two players, essentially in the game. They try to guess and second-guess the other person's moves and depending on level of interest, they make moves to counter or to checkmate. I always wished it would be more simple, that things didn't have to be so complicated. But it's a cold hard fact; few things in life are that simple and it makes the fact that the Gospel is a simple message so much more worth cherishing.

Sometimes on the way to school, I look at the sky and scenery around me, take a deep breath and take it all in. My thoughts begin to wander and I see myself 10-20 years down the road with a wife and family, enjoying everything that a family enjoys. But there is this voice within me that tells me that more often than not, especially with regards to me, it's "too good to be true" rather than "happily ever after". I've never wanted to believe that because it would mean that everything in life henceforth would be meaningless. Can a man live that way? A meaningless existence and finding no pleasure in sensory perception. It's scary but it's looming large at the moment.

Fear is a part of every man's existence. It's his bane and yet sometimes, his comfort zone. I don't want that to be part of me, I want to live courageously and yet, I yearn to constantly ask God where my inheritance is. And then I'm reminded of a few phrases from the Bible. Most notable are "Seek ye first the kingdom of God" and "Love is patient". Those are the little bits of wisdom that keep me through this maelstrom of uncertainty and apprehension.

"I was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back. All I'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet."

Labels: Thoughts

Traveller fell apart at 11:37 PM

April 08, 2007

Easter Hiatus

It's been an edifying few days. Easter Camp at Ebenezer was particularly rewarding because not only were the seminars and themes delivered powerfully from the pulpit, the company was excellent as well. I'm slowly beginning to enjoy being in this church, and I hope that this time, it won't turn all awry like how the last experience did. It's been great meeting the young adults at Bible Study, growing together in God and learning more about each other's quirks as we go. Quintessentially, Ebenezer's slowly beginning to feel like a home church to me; something which I've been craving since Day One in Melbourne.

I'm a bloody choosy person when it comes to romance, I think I've established that before. But recently, I've been wondering if it is this choosy attitude which will eventually lead to a lifetime in solitude. I still cannot, however, accept the notion that one can be abit loose in terms of criteria in choosing a life partner. How can you gamble on your lifetime's happiness? It is ludicrous and something which I would never do. For me, the stand remains that I'd rather be alone than be with someone whom I'm not completely satisfied with. At the moment, though, the former looks like a more plausible reality.

Over my summer working at Ernst & Young, I realised that working life in Singapore eats up your social life. Even if you're not called back to the office on the weekends, you'd feel generally too lethargic to wander around town. This lack of social life permeates into a subsequent lack of romantic eventualities and the result? Singlehood rate in Singapore rising at an alarming rate, so alarming that the government has to introduce campaigns which teach people the basics of dating. It's quite amusing and at the same time scary because there is this sinking feeling within me that the likelihood of me remaining single is looming large (read: 1.5 years away).

And everyday I wonder what the Lord has in store for me. O, the mystery. O, the anticipation.

"The miles are getting longer it seems, the closer I get to you."

Labels: Life In General, Thoughts

Traveller fell apart at 4:46 PM

April 01, 2007

Maybe, just maybe.

I thought about something today and it wasn't something very nice. Granted, it's far-fetched at this point and yet, its not unconceivable. But I wonder, just wonder if it's God trying to tell me the answer to the question that I've been asking all this while. I need confirmation, desperately. Because not knowing God's will is something Man has been contending with for all of eternity and yet, we often never know till it hits us. Does it really have to be that way this time? I hope not, God.

Because this answer may affect whether I stay or go. Because this answer may change the way the next ten years pans out for me. Because I'm at the crossroads of two very different paths and at the moment, there's no telling the difference.

Jason Mraz - You And I Both

Was it You who spoke the words
That things would happen but not to me
All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, taking Your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
and others just read of
Others only read of the love
Oh, the love that I love
Love-ah-love

See, I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words than I had ever heard
And I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now

Oh love, love, you and I, you and I
Not so little, you and I anymore
Mmm hmm
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
Is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well then im almost finally out of, finally ou-ou-out of
Finally de de de de de de de, well I'm almost finally, finally
Well, I am free, oh I'm free

And it's okay
If you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephones
Well, they're working in both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else
I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else

And that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you say

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well, then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally de de de de de de de de
Well I'm almost finally
Finally out of words.

"I'm all out of words to say, in Your unbending Will I lay. I commit all, to You."

Labels: Thoughts, YHWH

Traveller fell apart at 2:20 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		April 30, 2007 Lyrics Re-written It's never been easy for me To find words to go along with a melody But this time there's actually something on my mind So please forgive these few brief awkward lines Since I met you my whole life has changed It's not just my priorities you've re-arranged I was living in the past But somehow you've brought me back And I haven't felt like this since before facing cold hard facts And now I know based on my past history I might not seem like the safest bet All I'm asking you is Don't write me off just yet For years I've been telling myself the same old story That I'm happy to live off my former melancholy But you've given me a reason To take another chance Now I need you despite the fact that you always pwn my Sates :) And now I know I've already made transgressions Than any friend should ever let All I'm asking you is Don't write me off just yet Don't write me off just yet Labels: Songs Traveller fell apart at 1:43 AM April 29, 2007 Contused Confusion If there's one thing that I've been starkly and constantly reminded of, it's that romance is similar to a chess game. There are two players, essentially in the game. They try to guess and second-guess the other person's moves and depending on level of interest, they make moves to counter or to checkmate. I always wished it would be more simple, that things didn't have to be so complicated. But it's a cold hard fact; few things in life are that simple and it makes the fact that the Gospel is a simple message so much more worth cherishing. Sometimes on the way to school, I look at the sky and scenery around me, take a deep breath and take it all in. My thoughts begin to wander and I see myself 10-20 years down the road with a wife and family, enjoying everything that a family enjoys. But there is this voice within me that tells me that more often than not, especially with regards to me, it's "too good to be true" rather than "happily ever after". I've never wanted to believe that because it would mean that everything in life henceforth would be meaningless. Can a man live that way? A meaningless existence and finding no pleasure in sensory perception. It's scary but it's looming large at the moment. Fear is a part of every man's existence. It's his bane and yet sometimes, his comfort zone. I don't want that to be part of me, I want to live courageously and yet, I yearn to constantly ask God where my inheritance is. And then I'm reminded of a few phrases from the Bible. Most notable are "Seek ye first the kingdom of God" and "Love is patient". Those are the little bits of wisdom that keep me through this maelstrom of uncertainty and apprehension. "I was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back. All I'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet." Labels: Thoughts Traveller fell apart at 11:37 PM April 08, 2007 Easter Hiatus It's been an edifying few days. Easter Camp at Ebenezer was particularly rewarding because not only were the seminars and themes delivered powerfully from the pulpit, the company was excellent as well. I'm slowly beginning to enjoy being in this church, and I hope that this time, it won't turn all awry like how the last experience did. It's been great meeting the young adults at Bible Study, growing together in God and learning more about each other's quirks as we go. Quintessentially, Ebenezer's slowly beginning to feel like a home church to me; something which I've been craving since Day One in Melbourne. I'm a bloody choosy person when it comes to romance, I think I've established that before. But recently, I've been wondering if it is this choosy attitude which will eventually lead to a lifetime in solitude. I still cannot, however, accept the notion that one can be abit loose in terms of criteria in choosing a life partner. How can you gamble on your lifetime's happiness? It is ludicrous and something which I would never do. For me, the stand remains that I'd rather be alone than be with someone whom I'm not completely satisfied with. At the moment, though, the former looks like a more plausible reality. Over my summer working at Ernst & Young, I realised that working life in Singapore eats up your social life. Even if you're not called back to the office on the weekends, you'd feel generally too lethargic to wander around town. This lack of social life permeates into a subsequent lack of romantic eventualities and the result? Singlehood rate in Singapore rising at an alarming rate, so alarming that the government has to introduce campaigns which teach people the basics of dating. It's quite amusing and at the same time scary because there is this sinking feeling within me that the likelihood of me remaining single is looming large (read: 1.5 years away). And everyday I wonder what the Lord has in store for me. O, the mystery. O, the anticipation. "The miles are getting longer it seems, the closer I get to you." Labels: Life In General, Thoughts Traveller fell apart at 4:46 PM April 01, 2007 Maybe, just maybe. I thought about something today and it wasn't something very nice. Granted, it's far-fetched at this point and yet, its not unconceivable. But I wonder, just wonder if it's God trying to tell me the answer to the question that I've been asking all this while. I need confirmation, desperately. Because not knowing God's will is something Man has been contending with for all of eternity and yet, we often never know till it hits us. Does it really have to be that way this time? I hope not, God. Because this answer may affect whether I stay or go. Because this answer may change the way the next ten years pans out for me. Because I'm at the crossroads of two very different paths and at the moment, there's no telling the difference. Jason Mraz - You And I Both Was it You who spoke the words That things would happen but not to me All things are gonna happen naturally Oh, taking Your advice and I'm looking on the bright side And balancing the whole thing Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in lines And the bright light turns to night Oh, until the dawn it brings Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of and others just read of Others only read of the love Oh, the love that I love Love-ah-love See, I'm all about them words Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words More words than I had ever heard And I feel so alive Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of And if you could see me now Oh love, love, you and I, you and I Not so little, you and I anymore Mmm hmm And with this silence brings a moral story More importantly evolving Is the glory of a boy Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of And if you could see me now Well then im almost finally out of, finally ou-ou-out of Finally de de de de de de de, well I'm almost finally, finally Well, I am free, oh I'm free And it's okay If you had to go away Oh, just remember the telephones Well, they're working in both ways But if I never, ever hear them ring If nothing else I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else And that's okay Cause I'll remember everything you say Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of And if you could see me now Well, then I'm almost finally out of I'm finally out of Finally de de de de de de de de Well I'm almost finally Finally out of words. "I'm all out of words to say, in Your unbending Will I lay. I commit all, to You." Labels: Thoughts, YHWH Traveller fell apart at 2:20 AM