April 30, 2007

Lyrics Re-written

It's never been easy for me

To find words to go along with a melody

But this time there's actually something on my mind

So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I met you my whole life has changed

It's not just my priorities you've re-arranged

I was living in the past

But somehow you've brought me back

And I haven't felt like this since before facing cold hard facts

And now I know based on my past history

I might not seem like the safest bet

All I'm asking you is

Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story

That I'm happy to live off my former melancholy

But you've given me a reason

To take another chance

Now I need you despite the fact that you always pwn my Sates :)

And now I know

I've already made transgressions

Than any friend should ever let

All I'm asking you is

Don't write me off just yet

Don't write me off just yet


Traveller fell apart at 1:43 AM

April 29, 2007

Contused Confusion

If there's one thing that I've been starkly and constantly reminded of, it's that romance is similar to a chess game. There are two players, essentially in the game. They try to guess and second-guess the other person's moves and depending on level of interest, they make moves to counter or to checkmate. I always wished it would be more simple, that things didn't have to be so complicated. But it's a cold hard fact; few things in life are that simple and it makes the fact that the Gospel is a simple message so much more worth cherishing.

Sometimes on the way to school, I look at the sky and scenery around me, take a deep breath and take it all in. My thoughts begin to wander and I see myself 10-20 years down the road with a wife and family, enjoying everything that a family enjoys. But there is this voice within me that tells me that more often than not, especially with regards to me, it's "too good to be true" rather than "happily ever after". I've never wanted to believe that because it would mean that everything in life henceforth would be meaningless. Can a man live that way? A meaningless existence and finding no pleasure in sensory perception. It's scary but it's looming large at the moment.

Fear is a part of every man's existence. It's his bane and yet sometimes, his comfort zone. I don't want that to be part of me, I want to live courageously and yet, I yearn to constantly ask God where my inheritance is. And then I'm reminded of a few phrases from the Bible. Most notable are "Seek ye first the kingdom of God" and "Love is patient". Those are the little bits of wisdom that keep me through this maelstrom of uncertainty and apprehension.

"I was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back. All I'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet."


Traveller fell apart at 11:37 PM

April 08, 2007

Easter Hiatus

It's been an edifying few days. Easter Camp at Ebenezer was particularly rewarding because not only were the seminars and themes delivered powerfully from the pulpit, the company was excellent as well. I'm slowly beginning to enjoy being in this church, and I hope that this time, it won't turn all awry like how the last experience did. It's been great meeting the young adults at Bible Study, growing together in God and learning more about each other's quirks as we go. Quintessentially, Ebenezer's slowly beginning to feel like a home church to me; something which I've been craving since Day One in Melbourne.

I'm a bloody choosy person when it comes to romance, I think I've established that before. But recently, I've been wondering if it is this choosy attitude which will eventually lead to a lifetime in solitude. I still cannot, however, accept the notion that one can be abit loose in terms of criteria in choosing a life partner. How can you gamble on your lifetime's happiness? It is ludicrous and something which I would never do. For me, the stand remains that I'd rather be alone than be with someone whom I'm not completely satisfied with. At the moment, though, the former looks like a more plausible reality.

Over my summer working at Ernst & Young, I realised that working life in Singapore eats up your social life. Even if you're not called back to the office on the weekends, you'd feel generally too lethargic to wander around town. This lack of social life permeates into a subsequent lack of romantic eventualities and the result? Singlehood rate in Singapore rising at an alarming rate, so alarming that the government has to introduce campaigns which teach people the basics of dating. It's quite amusing and at the same time scary because there is this sinking feeling within me that the likelihood of me remaining single is looming large (read: 1.5 years away).

And everyday I wonder what the Lord has in store for me. O, the mystery. O, the anticipation.

"The miles are getting longer it seems, the closer I get to you."

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Traveller fell apart at 4:46 PM

April 01, 2007

Maybe, just maybe.

I thought about something today and it wasn't something very nice. Granted, it's far-fetched at this point and yet, its not unconceivable. But I wonder, just wonder if it's God trying to tell me the answer to the question that I've been asking all this while. I need confirmation, desperately. Because not knowing God's will is something Man has been contending with for all of eternity and yet, we often never know till it hits us. Does it really have to be that way this time? I hope not, God.

Because this answer may affect whether I stay or go. Because this answer may change the way the next ten years pans out for me. Because I'm at the crossroads of two very different paths and at the moment, there's no telling the difference.

Jason Mraz - You And I Both

Was it You who spoke the words
That things would happen but not to me
All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, taking Your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
and others just read of
Others only read of the love
Oh, the love that I love

See, I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words than I had ever heard
And I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now

Oh love, love, you and I, you and I
Not so little, you and I anymore
Mmm hmm
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
Is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well then im almost finally out of, finally ou-ou-out of
Finally de de de de de de de, well I'm almost finally, finally
Well, I am free, oh I'm free

And it's okay
If you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephones
Well, they're working in both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else
I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else
And that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you say

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well, then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally de de de de de de de de
Well I'm almost finally
Finally out of words.

"I'm all out of words to say, in Your unbending Will I lay. I commit all, to You."

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Traveller fell apart at 2:20 AM

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