Melancholic Derivations

October 19, 2006

I Ache

Perhaps I'm just that sort of person who will never be able to hold down a steady relationship. Because when push comes to shove, I've never managed to make someone I love feel secure, loved and protected. We are all shaped by our experiences as children and adolescents, and perhaps that's what's made me what I am. Sadly, I probably will never afford someone the love and kind of attention they would want from a lover. And that is why, today, I finally see the reason I'm alone.

It's because I've never been there for anyone.

James Carrington - Ache

Isn't it strange the way things can change
The life that you lead turned on its head
Suddenly someone means more than you felt before
Her house and its yard turns into home

I'm sorry but I meant to say
Many things along the way
So this one's for you

Have I told you I ache?
Have I told you I ache?
Have I told you I ache for you?
Have I told you I ache?

The time that it took writing words for my book
Seems to have broken in half
The gate that I shut last time I got hurt
Seems to have opened itself

Oh the world its spinning now its trying to catch me up
And tell me to appreciate the here and now

I'm sorry but i meant to say
Many things along the way
So this one's for you

Have I told you I ache?
Have I told you I ache?
Have I told you I ache for you?
Have I told you I ache?
Have I told you I ache and I hope it's not too late.
Can I hold you and ache for you?

Living life alone isn't called loneliness, it's called fear. Fear which prevents all other form of attachment.

Labels: Melancholic

Traveller fell apart at 1:58 PM

October 14, 2006

'Good Friend'

Nine Days - Good Friend

I used to think that you were someone else
Then I'd lose my mind each day
I used to think that I could help myself
But its true what they say
There's no reason without a way

This is
Good Bye to you and Me
What a good friend you've been to me
And I owe it all to you
Every good thing that I do is you

I used to wish that I was someone else
Then I'd dream away the day
Those dreams have made me into someone new
And its true what they say
There's no better time than today

If this is
Good Bye to you and Me
What a good friend you've been to me
And I owe it all to you
Every good thing that I do is you

I am here
I need to say
That I will miss you
Everyday

Good Bye to you and Me
What a good friend you've been to me
If this is
Good Bye to you and Me
Well what good friends we will always be
And I owe it all to you
Every good thing that I do is you
It's you.

Labels: Songs

Traveller fell apart at 6:03 PM

October 13, 2006

Busybee

I haven't posted recently and I chose a particular inauspicious time to update the blog. It's Friday the 13th, and the weather outside's been somewhat parallel to that experienced in Hell. In a word, it's HOT. It was 36C yesterday and today was set to hit 30C until a cool front came over Melbourne in the afternoon and bathed the city in cool, 22C fresh air. The bad thing about heat here is that it's dry and it feels like a fan-forced oven, so much so that you can't perspire and as a result, feel extremely stuffy and heaty. I'm just glad I'm not going to be here for the summer.

Besides the weather, there's been my studies to contend with. Examinations are in 2 weeks time following which I'll be heading home on the 11th of November. After a year long hiatus, I'm interested to see how much Singapore's changed while I was gone. It's become like a yearly ritual, me returning to a world of difference and then having to leave it before I've gotten used to anything. And the cycle repeats itself to the point where I feel totally disconnected from the Singaporean life. But I'm looking forward to returning home, to my family and friends I haven't seen in a year. To changes and uncertainty, to a place I will always call home.

There's been no time for much contemplation recently, which in a way is good. Too much free time results in alot of melancholy for me, such is the nature of my mind; it wanders whenever allowed to, culminating in grey clouds gathering in the recesses of my mind. So perhaps in a way, this is good. Keeping busy, keeping active and exhausting myself everyday. Maybe this is the approach I should take in the future. That way, I won't get hurt or feel hurt, and I'll always be in a constant state of achievement.

Maybe that's what will heal me in the end. Or maybe it's You.

Labels: Life In General

Traveller fell apart at 6:36 PM

October 02, 2006

Songs of Seasons Past

I really hate it when songs do this to me. Sigh.

李圣杰 - 最近

你最近不说话
怎麽了?为什麽?
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐?
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁

我想要的你却不能够给我你全部
你能给的却又不是我想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路

爱你却不能给我你全部
你能给的却又不是我想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
这一次我们都能很幸福.

Labels: Songs

Traveller fell apart at 4:58 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		October 19, 2006 I Ache Perhaps I'm just that sort of person who will never be able to hold down a steady relationship. Because when push comes to shove, I've never managed to make someone I love feel secure, loved and protected. We are all shaped by our experiences as children and adolescents, and perhaps that's what's made me what I am. Sadly, I probably will never afford someone the love and kind of attention they would want from a lover. And that is why, today, I finally see the reason I'm alone. It's because I've never been there for anyone. James Carrington - Ache Isn't it strange the way things can change The life that you lead turned on its head Suddenly someone means more than you felt before Her house and its yard turns into home I'm sorry but I meant to say Many things along the way So this one's for you Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache for you? Have I told you I ache? The time that it took writing words for my book Seems to have broken in half The gate that I shut last time I got hurt Seems to have opened itself Oh the world its spinning now its trying to catch me up And tell me to appreciate the here and now I'm sorry but i meant to say Many things along the way So this one's for you Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache for you? Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache and I hope it's not too late. Can I hold you and ache for you? Living life alone isn't called loneliness, it's called fear. Fear which prevents all other form of attachment. Labels: Melancholic Traveller fell apart at 1:58 PM October 14, 2006 'Good Friend' Nine Days - Good Friend I used to think that you were someone else Then I'd lose my mind each day I used to think that I could help myself But its true what they say There's no reason without a way This is Good Bye to you and Me What a good friend you've been to me And I owe it all to you Every good thing that I do is you I used to wish that I was someone else Then I'd dream away the day Those dreams have made me into someone new And its true what they say There's no better time than today If this is Good Bye to you and Me What a good friend you've been to me And I owe it all to you Every good thing that I do is you I am here I need to say That I will miss you Everyday Good Bye to you and Me What a good friend you've been to me If this is Good Bye to you and Me Well what good friends we will always be And I owe it all to you Every good thing that I do is you It's you. Labels: Songs Traveller fell apart at 6:03 PM October 13, 2006 Busybee I haven't posted recently and I chose a particular inauspicious time to update the blog. It's Friday the 13th, and the weather outside's been somewhat parallel to that experienced in Hell. In a word, it's HOT. It was 36C yesterday and today was set to hit 30C until a cool front came over Melbourne in the afternoon and bathed the city in cool, 22C fresh air. The bad thing about heat here is that it's dry and it feels like a fan-forced oven, so much so that you can't perspire and as a result, feel extremely stuffy and heaty. I'm just glad I'm not going to be here for the summer. Besides the weather, there's been my studies to contend with. Examinations are in 2 weeks time following which I'll be heading home on the 11th of November. After a year long hiatus, I'm interested to see how much Singapore's changed while I was gone. It's become like a yearly ritual, me returning to a world of difference and then having to leave it before I've gotten used to anything. And the cycle repeats itself to the point where I feel totally disconnected from the Singaporean life. But I'm looking forward to returning home, to my family and friends I haven't seen in a year. To changes and uncertainty, to a place I will always call home. There's been no time for much contemplation recently, which in a way is good. Too much free time results in alot of melancholy for me, such is the nature of my mind; it wanders whenever allowed to, culminating in grey clouds gathering in the recesses of my mind. So perhaps in a way, this is good. Keeping busy, keeping active and exhausting myself everyday. Maybe this is the approach I should take in the future. That way, I won't get hurt or feel hurt, and I'll always be in a constant state of achievement. Maybe that's what will heal me in the end. Or maybe it's You. Labels: Life In General Traveller fell apart at 6:36 PM October 02, 2006 Songs of Seasons Past I really hate it when songs do this to me. Sigh. 李圣杰 - 最近你最近不说话怎麽了?为什麽? 是不是有什麽事让你不快乐? 听说你最近很孤单有点乱有点慌可是我却不能够在你的身旁我想要的你却不能够给我你全部你能给的却又不是我想要拥有的我们不适合也不想认输好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭你常解释这样的一切都只是开始我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束不想再约束不要再痛苦下一次会有更好的情路爱你却不能给我你全部你能给的却又不是我想要拥有的我们不适合也不想认输好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭你常解释这样的一切都只是开始我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束不想再约束不要再痛苦下一次会有更好的情路这一次我们都能很幸福. Labels: Songs Traveller fell apart at 4:58 AM