Melancholic Derivations

September 27, 2006

Frail We Are

The trip went perfectly. We got there and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, barbequing under the stars, laughing and joking whilst Taboo was played and generally, basking in each other's warmth and friendship. I did have the time for self-reflection in the midst of the 13-strong crowd, and I figured it was better if I got all of this down before it left the forefront of my consciousness.

Essentially, Man's struggle to understand his universe and reality has been an ongoing one. Religion then, provides an avenue for these exploratory tendencies. What then, separates Christianity from the rest? Up until the 17th century, the power of the Church constituted the authority of the monarch. Disagree with the church, and you ran the risk of disintegrating the power base from which you would call upon heavenly mandate. Legalism held sway in the minds of the aristocrats and priests and God's mercy was put on the backburner of religious emphasis. The Age of 'Rationalism' arrived in the 18th century and essentially, the Legalism practiced by the church gave way to other thrusts towards the unknown, all in the search for some enlightening ideology.

Empiricism came and when it was found not to explain every happening in the universe per se, was duly rejected as a dominant doctrine. Then came Karl Marx with a unique brand of humanitarian egalitarianism, one which appealed to the downtrodden masses of which aristocracies had neglected. But the manner of cruelty and barbarism which had to be employed in order to enforce his ideas shocked those who purported to swear by it, and was also duly rejected. Fascism stemmed from Hitler and his Nazi Party, and was championed by Mussolini and Fascist Italy. But its Nationalist nature meant that it would find little common ground in a search for universal truth. Recently, post-Modernism and Relativism claims new breakthrough in terms of understanding our reality and giving meaning to our purpose in life. And yet, its ludicrous assumptions that no one is wrong allow for great debate and dissension as to the nature of religion.

If religion essentially claims truth in its words, how then can all religions claim to be telling the truth - as what the post-Modernist would have you believe. Either one is right and the rest are all false teachings, there cannot be more than one truth. Therein lies the paradox of post-Modernist relativism. In the 17th century, Friedrich Neitsczhe claimed the death of God and the triumph of human prowess and reason. It is ironic then, that the champion of human intelligence and potential ultimately fell prey to insanity, a disease of the human mind. How laughable and yet at the same time, tragic.

I for one do not believe that God ever ceased to exist or be. He just faded away from the conscious reality as we took steps to distance ourselves from His all-encompassing authority.

"Your dirt removes my blindness, Your pain becomes my peace."

Traveller fell apart at 2:10 AM

September 23, 2006

23 on my 23rd on the 23rd of September. Remember, remember.

So here it is, another year has come and gone, bringing with it memories both regrettable and joyful. I'm supposed to be another year older, another year wiser and of course, another year closer to my death. Somehow some people I did not expect to remember my birthday remembered and wished me and yet some people I expected to remember did not say anything. I'm slowly beginning to see that it is but part and parcel of life, people come and go and only a select few actually stick around even after everything's been said and done. That being said, the people who do stick around are definitely ones to be treasured simply due to their rarity.

I'm going on a roadtrip later today to Australia's outback and wilderness. It's called the Grampians and it gives a kind of Lord Of The Rings feel from what I can see in the pictures lining the website. I'm going on the trip hoping in some way that I might connect with God this year, somehow to feel His presence in his many wondrous creations. Of course, there's great company in this journey with my OCF Cell Group so many thanks to them!

Till the next time, there's a song which aptly describes the moment.

Jimmy Eat World - 23

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me

I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I wont always love these selfish things
I won't always live not stopping.

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you.

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine.

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23.
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets.

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine.

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine.

"Don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine."

Traveller fell apart at 12:50 AM

September 14, 2006

Unshakeable.

A random stranger came up to me the other day, presumably to evangelise and eventually ending up talking to me about theological issues. It's strange really, how people can actually pluck up the courage to talk to a random person about spiritual issues, things which have become taboo in today's empirical reality. It's further evidence of God's immense power to change perspectives and alter mindsets, bringing about a new person from within. Strange how some people can assert that it's mindless fanaticism at best, when believing in the Faith is clearly an intellectually demanding journey.

This random stranger introduced himself as Lloyd, and his first question remains embedded in memory.

"Why do you believe?"

I think it's a question Christians often take for granted. Why DO we believe? Is it because everyone else is doing it? Is it because we've been brought up and conditioned to the Faith? Or could it be that cute girl at the church you've been eyeing and you feel being a Christian would enhance your chances? There are a myriad of reasons why people go to church, why people choose to acknowledge themselves as Christian. But I think the best reason for me is that God is a constant. I'm sure that answer took alot of you by surprise. Perhaps you were expecting some pompous speech about God's many wonders and facets which He continually reveals to His children daily. I'm sure I could fill an entire page if I were to mention His deeds. But ultimately, it's all summed up with that word. God is constant, never changing.

To God, sin is sin. Love is love. There are no two ways about it, it is either black or white. In the modern context, you'd be rubbished as being intolerant and insensitive if you spoke in absolutes. Relativism as a way of thinking has infiltrated the minds of people nowadays; most refusing to even take a stand on the most basic of moral issues. Moral values aren't the only aspect of the world changing these days. Technology and advances bring new horizons to human imagination with every single minute that passes. And in all these changing times, these changing possibilities, isn't it comforting to know that there is something constant? That there is a Being who CONSTANTLY loves us, CONSTANTLY watches over us, CONSTANTLY feels the same about us no matter what. It's a lovely thought, simply because it's impossible to find in the world. Not even the closest person to you.

And that is what I answered Lloyd. "God is my unmoveable Rock. And that is what I like best about Him."

He smiled.

"Maybe Redemption has stories to tell, maybe Forgiveness is right where you fell."

Traveller fell apart at 12:26 AM

September 02, 2006

Cloudy Insides

I think I've learnt quite a few things over the past few days. It's been tumultuous and at the same time, really enriching. Certain events which I didn't expect to take place, took place. And to say that I was left bewildered by them would be an understatement. But the disappointment has subsided, because I realise it's nothing new to be disappointed in life. It's really just part and parcel, something which makes life what it is. And in the end, life still goes on...and on.

I think I haven't been truly happy for awhile now. The times I've said I'm happy have been instances of false contentment. Flickers of sunshine slipping through the cracks in my universe, if you will. What constitutes happiness then? It's the feeling you get in your heart that you couldn't wish for anything better, that things are perfect the way they are. Although in our limited scope of vision as humans, that kind of happiness seems self-delusional. But, I'm sure I've felt that sort of happiness before sometime ago. Not too long ago in fact. But somehow it's been gone this year, leaving the inside a hollow, empty shell with which to contend with every morning when I get out of bed.

I'm grateful for friends around me who constantly try to tell me to cheer up. It's comforting to know that people around do care about how you're feeling. But the cynic in me says that when it comes to the crunch, the true friends I have are few and far between. And it is often this cynic in me which controls my actions and mindset, so excuse me for feeling the hopelessness in more than half the friendships I have.

They say when Spring comes the mood lifts too, the sunshine flooding in the heart and the birds chirping filling the ear drums with sweet sounds. Then how come it's still cloudy inside? I want to know.

"我受了重伤, 离开只是种疗方. 放手逃离伤心的海岸, 遗憾的是没找到麻木的药方."

Traveller fell apart at 2:22 PM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		September 27, 2006 Frail We Are The trip went perfectly. We got there and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, barbequing under the stars, laughing and joking whilst Taboo was played and generally, basking in each other's warmth and friendship. I did have the time for self-reflection in the midst of the 13-strong crowd, and I figured it was better if I got all of this down before it left the forefront of my consciousness. Essentially, Man's struggle to understand his universe and reality has been an ongoing one. Religion then, provides an avenue for these exploratory tendencies. What then, separates Christianity from the rest? Up until the 17th century, the power of the Church constituted the authority of the monarch. Disagree with the church, and you ran the risk of disintegrating the power base from which you would call upon heavenly mandate. Legalism held sway in the minds of the aristocrats and priests and God's mercy was put on the backburner of religious emphasis. The Age of 'Rationalism' arrived in the 18th century and essentially, the Legalism practiced by the church gave way to other thrusts towards the unknown, all in the search for some enlightening ideology. Empiricism came and when it was found not to explain every happening in the universe per se, was duly rejected as a dominant doctrine. Then came Karl Marx with a unique brand of humanitarian egalitarianism, one which appealed to the downtrodden masses of which aristocracies had neglected. But the manner of cruelty and barbarism which had to be employed in order to enforce his ideas shocked those who purported to swear by it, and was also duly rejected. Fascism stemmed from Hitler and his Nazi Party, and was championed by Mussolini and Fascist Italy. But its Nationalist nature meant that it would find little common ground in a search for universal truth. Recently, post-Modernism and Relativism claims new breakthrough in terms of understanding our reality and giving meaning to our purpose in life. And yet, its ludicrous assumptions that no one is wrong allow for great debate and dissension as to the nature of religion. If religion essentially claims truth in its words, how then can all religions claim to be telling the truth - as what the post-Modernist would have you believe. Either one is right and the rest are all false teachings, there cannot be more than one truth. Therein lies the paradox of post-Modernist relativism. In the 17th century, Friedrich Neitsczhe claimed the death of God and the triumph of human prowess and reason. It is ironic then, that the champion of human intelligence and potential ultimately fell prey to insanity, a disease of the human mind. How laughable and yet at the same time, tragic. I for one do not believe that God ever ceased to exist or be. He just faded away from the conscious reality as we took steps to distance ourselves from His all-encompassing authority. "Your dirt removes my blindness, Your pain becomes my peace." Traveller fell apart at 2:10 AM September 23, 2006 23 on my 23rd on the 23rd of September. Remember, remember. So here it is, another year has come and gone, bringing with it memories both regrettable and joyful. I'm supposed to be another year older, another year wiser and of course, another year closer to my death. Somehow some people I did not expect to remember my birthday remembered and wished me and yet some people I expected to remember did not say anything. I'm slowly beginning to see that it is but part and parcel of life, people come and go and only a select few actually stick around even after everything's been said and done. That being said, the people who do stick around are definitely ones to be treasured simply due to their rarity. I'm going on a roadtrip later today to Australia's outback and wilderness. It's called the Grampians and it gives a kind of Lord Of The Rings feel from what I can see in the pictures lining the website. I'm going on the trip hoping in some way that I might connect with God this year, somehow to feel His presence in his many wondrous creations. Of course, there's great company in this journey with my OCF Cell Group so many thanks to them! Till the next time, there's a song which aptly describes the moment. *Jimmy Eat World - 23* I felt for sure last night That once we said goodbye No one else will know these lonely dreams No one else will know that part of me I'm still driving away And I'm sorry every day I wont always love these selfish things I won't always live not stopping. It was my turn to decide I knew this was our time No one else will have me like you do No one else will have me, only you. You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? I'm here I'm now I'm ready Holding on tight Don't give away the end The one thing that stays mine. Amazing still it seems I'll be 23. I won't always love what I'll never have I won't always live in my regrets. You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? I'm here I'm now I'm ready Holding on tight Don't give away the end The one thing that stays mine. You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? I'm here I'm now I'm ready Holding on tight Don't give away the end The one thing that stays mine. "Don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine." Traveller fell apart at 12:50 AM September 14, 2006 Unshakeable. A random stranger came up to me the other day, presumably to evangelise and eventually ending up talking to me about theological issues. It's strange really, how people can actually pluck up the courage to talk to a random person about spiritual issues, things which have become taboo in today's empirical reality. It's further evidence of God's immense power to change perspectives and alter mindsets, bringing about a new person from within. Strange how some people can assert that it's mindless fanaticism at best, when believing in the Faith is clearly an intellectually demanding journey. This random stranger introduced himself as Lloyd, and his first question remains embedded in memory. "Why do you believe?" I think it's a question Christians often take for granted. Why DO we believe? Is it because everyone else is doing it? Is it because we've been brought up and conditioned to the Faith? Or could it be that cute girl at the church you've been eyeing and you feel being a Christian would enhance your chances? There are a myriad of reasons why people go to church, why people choose to acknowledge themselves as Christian. But I think the best reason for me is that God is a constant. I'm sure that answer took alot of you by surprise. Perhaps you were expecting some pompous speech about God's many wonders and facets which He continually reveals to His children daily. I'm sure I could fill an entire page if I were to mention His deeds. But ultimately, it's all summed up with that word. God is constant, never changing. To God, sin is sin. Love is love. There are no two ways about it, it is either black or white. In the modern context, you'd be rubbished as being intolerant and insensitive if you spoke in absolutes. Relativism as a way of thinking has infiltrated the minds of people nowadays; most refusing to even take a stand on the most basic of moral issues. Moral values aren't the only aspect of the world changing these days. Technology and advances bring new horizons to human imagination with every single minute that passes. And in all these changing times, these changing possibilities, isn't it comforting to know that there is something constant? That there is a Being who CONSTANTLY loves us, CONSTANTLY watches over us, CONSTANTLY feels the same about us no matter what. It's a lovely thought, simply because it's impossible to find in the world. Not even the closest person to you. And that is what I answered Lloyd. "God is my unmoveable Rock. And that is what I like best about Him." He smiled. "Maybe Redemption has stories to tell, maybe Forgiveness is right where you fell." Traveller fell apart at 12:26 AM September 02, 2006 Cloudy Insides I think I've learnt quite a few things over the past few days. It's been tumultuous and at the same time, really enriching. Certain events which I didn't expect to take place, took place. And to say that I was left bewildered by them would be an understatement. But the disappointment has subsided, because I realise it's nothing new to be disappointed in life. It's really just part and parcel, something which makes life what it is. And in the end, life still goes on...and on. I think I haven't been truly happy for awhile now. The times I've said I'm happy have been instances of false contentment. Flickers of sunshine slipping through the cracks in my universe, if you will. What constitutes happiness then? It's the feeling you get in your heart that you couldn't wish for anything better, that things are perfect the way they are. Although in our limited scope of vision as humans, that kind of happiness seems self-delusional. But, I'm sure I've felt that sort of happiness before sometime ago. Not too long ago in fact. But somehow it's been gone this year, leaving the inside a hollow, empty shell with which to contend with every morning when I get out of bed. I'm grateful for friends around me who constantly try to tell me to cheer up. It's comforting to know that people around do care about how you're feeling. But the cynic in me says that when it comes to the crunch, the true friends I have are few and far between. And it is often this cynic in me which controls my actions and mindset, so excuse me for feeling the hopelessness in more than half the friendships I have. They say when Spring comes the mood lifts too, the sunshine flooding in the heart and the birds chirping filling the ear drums with sweet sounds. Then how come it's still cloudy inside? I want to know. "我受了重伤, 离开只是种疗方. 放手逃离伤心的海岸, 遗憾的是没找到麻木的药方." Traveller fell apart at 2:22 PM