Melancholic Derivations

May 16, 2005

Learning Contentedness

I think it's only recently that I've begun to realise how fortunate I really am. In life, I think far too often, we find ourselves caught up in the eternal pursuit of wealth and power so much so that we lose sight of the things that we already enjoy. The embrace of a parent, the friendship of a buddy, the warmth of a loved one. So essential to life and yet, so easily overlooked. It's very cliche, I know. The idea that people are always telling us to appreciate the things that we might regret missing out on later on. But isn't it a funny occurence? That despite all the warnings, all the words of caution, we still commit the same mistakes over and over again. In the grand scheme of things, the material possessions we gather are merely droplets of sand in the sandbox we call 'life experiences'. And yet, so much of our attention is perenially focused on acquiring them.

That's not to say I haven't been guilty of that sin. I have, I must admit, looked to solace and comfort from material possessions. I've always wished for a bigger house, a nicer car or a credit card that I can use to buy anything I want with. But I think over the past month, I've begun to really appreciate the people in my life. I've begun to see past their worth and usefulness to me, as I used to do. And you find when you learn to see past people's value to yourself, you begin to truly love and care for them as you ought to. It's strange to think that I've taken 22 years of my life to fully understand this facet of life. Yesterday, when Chung Wei woke up an hour early to prepare a scrumptious breakfast for the household, I really felt like giving him a hug and telling him how much I appreciate what he does. Whenever I have those late night chats with Christian in the living room about life in general, I'm always amazed to realise how simply he sees things and yet how much insight I actually gain from him. In my thoughts, I remember my Mom and how much she would nag me and how I'd resent it but actually be grateful inside (Actually, I still do get a little bit irritated. Heh).

Perhaps being with her has brought out a lighter, more humane side in me I'd never thought was inside of me. Because it's in her that I see that this world isn't all cynical and dread as I once pictured it. And it's in times like these that I see people for who they really are, not what they're worth to me. It's in times like these, that I could not ask for more.

"These are the moments, I know heaven must exist. These are the moments I know all I need is this. I've found all I've waited for, and I could not ask for more."

Traveller fell apart at 12:59 PM

May 07, 2005

Unfamiliar Ground

I've been silent for the past week or so, mostly because...yes, *gasp*, I've run out of inspiration. It's ironic when you think about it and really quite disconcerting. Lately, I've been feeling displaced, lost, caught in a contiguity of bliss and love. Something I've grown used to not having, something I tossed down the bin years ago. The idea of a concept of true love never eluded me, I always believed in it but felt that perhaps I would never deserve such pleasure. To me, I was only fit to live in darkness and solitude, doomed to wallow in the throes of melancholy and solemn contemplation.

Then...she came along.

In the movies, the love of the hero's life comes along and revolutionizes the way he lives. In this case, though, she's totally changed my perspectives and focus. It's strange to think that someone as elitist and proud as me would allow a single person to have such an effect on my way of thinking. But it's happened, and it's a reality as undeniable as God. The feeling of satisfaction and content may be a foreign one to me, but it's one I think I may not be undeserving of after all. And it's something that I intend to cherish for as long as I can.

Jon Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me

It's hard for me to say the things I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

That cool autumn night in Carlton, that beautiful night along the Yarra, all the Thursday lunches and study times. Thank you really. Because you've brought out the best in me, something stuffed so deep down I never thought I'd see.

Traveller fell apart at 10:58 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		May 16, 2005 Learning Contentedness I think it's only recently that I've begun to realise how fortunate I really am. In life, I think far too often, we find ourselves caught up in the eternal pursuit of wealth and power so much so that we lose sight of the things that we already enjoy. The embrace of a parent, the friendship of a buddy, the warmth of a loved one. So essential to life and yet, so easily overlooked. It's very cliche, I know. The idea that people are always telling us to appreciate the things that we might regret missing out on later on. But isn't it a funny occurence? That despite all the warnings, all the words of caution, we still commit the same mistakes over and over again. In the grand scheme of things, the material possessions we gather are merely droplets of sand in the sandbox we call 'life experiences'. And yet, so much of our attention is perenially focused on acquiring them. That's not to say I haven't been guilty of that sin. I have, I must admit, looked to solace and comfort from material possessions. I've always wished for a bigger house, a nicer car or a credit card that I can use to buy anything I want with. But I think over the past month, I've begun to really appreciate the people in my life. I've begun to see past their worth and usefulness to me, as I used to do. And you find when you learn to see past people's value to yourself, you begin to truly love and care for them as you ought to. It's strange to think that I've taken 22 years of my life to fully understand this facet of life. Yesterday, when Chung Wei woke up an hour early to prepare a scrumptious breakfast for the household, I really felt like giving him a hug and telling him how much I appreciate what he does. Whenever I have those late night chats with Christian in the living room about life in general, I'm always amazed to realise how simply he sees things and yet how much insight I actually gain from him. In my thoughts, I remember my Mom and how much she would nag me and how I'd resent it but actually be grateful inside (Actually, I still do get a little bit irritated. Heh). Perhaps being with her has brought out a lighter, more humane side in me I'd never thought was inside of me. Because it's in her that I see that this world isn't all cynical and dread as I once pictured it. And it's in times like these that I see people for who they really are, not what they're worth to me. It's in times like these, that I could not ask for more. "These are the moments, I know heaven must exist. These are the moments I know all I need is this. I've found all I've waited for, and I could not ask for more." Traveller fell apart at 12:59 PM May 07, 2005 Unfamiliar Ground I've been silent for the past week or so, mostly because...yes, gasp, I've run out of inspiration. It's ironic when you think about it and really quite disconcerting. Lately, I've been feeling displaced, lost, caught in a contiguity of bliss and love. Something I've grown used to not having, something I tossed down the bin years ago. The idea of a concept of true love never eluded me, I always believed in it but felt that perhaps I would never deserve such pleasure. To me, I was only fit to live in darkness and solitude, doomed to wallow in the throes of melancholy and solemn contemplation. Then...she came along. In the movies, the love of the hero's life comes along and revolutionizes the way he lives. In this case, though, she's totally changed my perspectives and focus. It's strange to think that someone as elitist and proud as me would allow a single person to have such an effect on my way of thinking. But it's happened, and it's a reality as undeniable as God. The feeling of satisfaction and content may be a foreign one to me, but it's one I think I may not be undeserving of after all. And it's something that I intend to cherish for as long as I can. Jon Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me It's hard for me to say the things I want to say sometimes There's no one here but you and me And that broken old street light Lock the doors We'll leave the world outside All I've got to give to you Are these five words when I Thank you for loving me For being my eyes When I couldn't see For parting my lips When I couldn't breathe Thank you for loving me Thank you for loving me I never knew I had a dream Until that dream was you When I look into your eyes The sky's a different blue Cross my heart I wear no disguise If I tried, you'd make believe That you believed my lies You pick me up when I fall down You ring the bell before they count me out If I was drowning you would part the sea And risk your own life to rescue me Lock the doors We'll leave the world outside All I've got to give to you Are these five words when I That cool autumn night in Carlton, that beautiful night along the Yarra, all the Thursday lunches and study times. Thank you really. Because you've brought out the best in me, something stuffed so deep down I never thought I'd see. Traveller fell apart at 10:58 AM