February 17, 2007

Saying My Goodbyes

They say that goodbyes are the hardest part to swallow down in a person's life. I've never felt the essence of that statement, the emotionality of it usually bouncing off the stone cold shield I've erected around myself. Till today.

My internship at Ernst & Young ended today, leaving me in slight limbo over the way I'd spend the rest of my 6 days in Singapore. I realise I've revolved my life around work and the office so much so that I've effectively left myself empty inside and lost when there isn't an office to go to. The late nights, the difficult clients and the frustrating work all paled in comparison to the laughter, jokes and camaraderie my audit team shared with one another. It made things easier to go through, and time passed quickly even as I was enjoying my time with them. Suddenly, I've found myself at the end of this journey; a journey I initially began with slight apprehension and nervousness but one which I now find myself missing so much. Lessons have been learnt through this work experience, not only technical career-wise ones but also life lessons and methods of dealing with people, be they difficult or friendly. It's been such an epiphany for me and there are definitely no regrets.

Besides my summer vacation job, I've also been forced to say goodbye to H.J. Heights, a condominium I've lived in for nearly 20 years of my life. It's been sold in an en bloc and with confirmation coming through on the sale, we've been given to the end of the year to pack up and move on. It isn't really the dingy old buildings I will miss per se, but rather the company I will sorely hanker after. The childhood friends I've made during my years here, how we used to play soccer by the pool and the irate responses those activities brought about; how we loved to spend time in each others' houses hammering away on those PlayStation controllers or playing make-believe games when we were younger. These are memories I will keep with me all my life, and more so now after all the physicalities are done away with. We've grown up alot, from young, innocent kids into mature, responsible adults. I'm proud of us all for the way we turned out and I'm just sad that we'll soon be dispersing into various diasporas of Singaporean communities. But such is life, constantly evolving, changing and unforgiving. My childhood was a part of life I thought would never fall prey to the ever-changing nature of time. But now, even that will be reclaimed by the metal arm of a bulldozer.

I said my goodbyes to the colleagues at Ernst & Young and also to my childhood friends today, leaving me feeling a tad bit melancholic now. It's abit tough not to swallow hard, when you've said goodbye to effectively half your life in a single day.

"Que sara, sara. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see."

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