August 30, 2007

I Remember

I remember the day so clearly, it was those crippling words which bore a hole through my soul. They cut into me like a knife through butter, crippling what was already a jaded spirit.

I remember it well, the first time I saw
Your head round the door
Cause mine stopped working
I remember it well, there was wet in your hair
I was stood in the stair
And time stopped moving

There were occasions where I'd wanted you back, where I thought that I couldn't live without you. There were nights when I'd replay all the memories in my head for the 'high' that I'd usually get. And I'd smile myself to bed, hoping in some sick way that time would stand still.

Want you here tonight, want you here
Cause I can't believe what I found
Want you here tonight, want you here
Nothing is taking me down, down, down.

Nights where we ran through the mild spring rains to my car after a late night movie, or the quiet moments we shared by the river sharing our hopes and fears. I recall the times I sat and watched you study, marveled by the person who was sitting right next to me. Wondering if there was anyone else besides me, wondering where I was in your priority line.

I remember it well, taxied out of a storm.
To watch you perform
And my ships were sailing
I remember it well, I was stood in your line
And your mouth, your mouth, your mind.

I'd really wished things didn't have to end this way, to come to such an abrupt end that night. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part, perhaps I was too naive to believe such a tragedy could have been averted. And most nights I prayed:

Want you here tonight, want you here
Cause I can't believe what I found
Want you here tonight, want you here
Nothing is taking me down, down, down
Except you my love.
Except you my love.

After all these years, however, I've come to a realisation and epiphany. And these following lyrics are for you. Because they perfectly encapsulate what I'd want to say if I ever saw you again.


Come all ye lost, and dive into moss
And I hope, that my sanity covers the cost
To remove the stain of my love
Paper mache.

Oooh, come all ye reborn
Blow off my horn
I'm driving real hard
This is love, this is scorn
God would forgive me
But I whip myself in scorn. Scorn.

I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
I remember December.

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