Melancholic Derivations

March 16, 2007

Salting Old Wounds

You never know when life will throw you a curveball, you really never will. The conversation with S forced much introspection, much deep thought as to how I've been living my life. Ashamedly, I haven't exactly been a model Christian. I've failed one too many times and succumbed to weaknesses I should have overcome a long time ago. 'Demons' which should have been subdued rear their ugly head every now and then, giving way to fear and apprehension as to whether I'd ever escape from the cyclical nature of my own sin.

I need to take a stand. I need to step forward in faith.

All through my life, I've been living mostly for me. It's hard to naturally take consideration of others when you've practically lived your whole life self-absorbed. Times where I should have given heed to how others may have felt, I merely dismissed their concerns. Occasions where I could have shown love and patience, I filled in with callousness and selfishness. Instances where I could have given hope and friendship, I substituted with a judgemental attitude and haughty demeanour. I regret my actions now, and sometimes I fear that I may have realised all of this too late. But the beauty of life is, we always get a second chance to correct the wrongs we've made. Unless of course we're dead.

Repairing relations with people I've held a grudge with for years is a good start. I want to start trying to love all of God's people and to treat them with respect in all that they do. I want to see everyone as an equal, and to appreciate all the little quirks they've been blessed with. I want to try and enjoy time spent with friends, no strings attached. I just want to feel again, and not be stuck in this ivory tower of melancholy. And today I will.

It sounds corny and unbelievable, but I'm done living for me. It's time to start living for Him.

Labels: Life In General

Traveller fell apart at 1:47 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		March 16, 2007 Salting Old Wounds You never know when life will throw you a curveball, you really never will. The conversation with S forced much introspection, much deep thought as to how I've been living my life. Ashamedly, I haven't exactly been a model Christian. I've failed one too many times and succumbed to weaknesses I should have overcome a long time ago. 'Demons' which should have been subdued rear their ugly head every now and then, giving way to fear and apprehension as to whether I'd ever escape from the cyclical nature of my own sin. I need to take a stand. I need to step forward in faith. All through my life, I've been living mostly for me. It's hard to naturally take consideration of others when you've practically lived your whole life self-absorbed. Times where I should have given heed to how others may have felt, I merely dismissed their concerns. Occasions where I could have shown love and patience, I filled in with callousness and selfishness. Instances where I could have given hope and friendship, I substituted with a judgemental attitude and haughty demeanour. I regret my actions now, and sometimes I fear that I may have realised all of this too late. But the beauty of life is, we always get a second chance to correct the wrongs we've made. Unless of course we're dead. Repairing relations with people I've held a grudge with for years is a good start. I want to start trying to love all of God's people and to treat them with respect in all that they do. I want to see everyone as an equal, and to appreciate all the little quirks they've been blessed with. I want to try and enjoy time spent with friends, no strings attached. I just want to feel again, and not be stuck in this ivory tower of melancholy. And today I will. It sounds corny and unbelievable, but I'm done living for me. It's time to start living for Him. Labels: Life In General Traveller fell apart at 1:47 AM