Melancholic Derivations

October 09, 2004

There was once a boy, whom as a six-year-old child put his trust in the Lord Jesus. That same boy grew up having a good church-going family and strong encouragement from his parents. That same boy grew up listening to bible stories and the virtues which Jesus preached to the multitudes in 20 A.D. That same boy reached adolescence.

Adolescence was never going to be easy. It was a time in life where change and identity where crucial and centerpiece to his pride. He was soon caught up in the ways of the world despite everything he underwent as a child. He went after girls for the wrong reasons, he lied to his parents, he cheated on some tests, he backstabbed his friends to get higher and most importantly, he left God behind in his life.

That boy grew increasingly spiteful and angsty. He was sure that Christianity was for the weak and helpless. Delving into various schools of men's wisdom didn't help matters. They only served to make him worldly-wise, proud and mysoginistic. He saw the world as a big cauldron of hate and apathy which would only be fuelled on by further apathy and hate. Despite all his sinful ways, God waited by the wayside, always hoping that someday, he'd return as His child.

The loss of his father came as a shock which he found too hard to handle. Suddenly, that cauldron of hate which he had always envisioned seemed to have spilled over into his life, drowning his thoughts and emotions. In this seeming darkness, he turned to darkness and endeavoured further through sin and self-destruction. He committed various acts which would have shamed both his earthly and Heavenly Father. And yet, still, God waited by the wayside, always hoping that someday, he'd return as His child.

The boy, now a young gentleman, picked up a copy of the "Devil's Apocrypha" one day, and began reading and sympathizing with his Heavenly Father's enemy. He adopted the attitudes and practices which lay behind the seeming "wisdom" of the book. He condemned the Bible and everything it stood for. He attacked and humiliated Christians whom God had sent to fight for him. He indulged in self-praise and self-love. And yet, still, God waited by the wayside, always hoping that someday, he'd return as His child.

That young gentleman soon found that his past sins had caught up with him. They were in a way, the reason for his compulsion to leave. The ensuing change brought about much resentment and uncertainty within him and he resolved to shut the door on all emotions and friendships. But something changed this time. God moved, and sent him companionship and fellowship. God moved, and sent him a sheperd to guide and protect him from the ways of the world. God moved, and touched his heart so deep that he could no longer deny or blaspheme against God. And yet, despite acknowledging God, this young adult still struggles with his past worldly ways. And yet, still, God waits by the wayside, always hoping someday, he'd return as His child.

That young man stands here today, amazed at his Heavenly Father's love and patience. That young man stands here today, shocked on hindsight at what he had accomplished during his time as an adolescent. However, that young man stands here today, determined never to stray from his Heavenly Father ever again. That young man wants God to take his world apart.

Jars Of Clay - Worlds Apart

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I float too high
And like Icarus, I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans
More abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

(To love you) Take my world apart
(To need you) I am on my knees
(To love you) Take my world apart
(To need you) Broken on my knees

Said and done, I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe, are worlds apart

I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now
I owe you more each passing hour
Battles between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
My sin-soaked heart, make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and blow away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
Wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
Take my world apart
Halleluia

Lord, thank you for never giving up on me. Take my world apart, change me. Amen.

Traveller fell apart at 2:55 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		October 09, 2004 There was once a boy, whom as a six-year-old child put his trust in the Lord Jesus. That same boy grew up having a good church-going family and strong encouragement from his parents. That same boy grew up listening to bible stories and the virtues which Jesus preached to the multitudes in 20 A.D. That same boy reached adolescence. Adolescence was never going to be easy. It was a time in life where change and identity where crucial and centerpiece to his pride. He was soon caught up in the ways of the world despite everything he underwent as a child. He went after girls for the wrong reasons, he lied to his parents, he cheated on some tests, he backstabbed his friends to get higher and most importantly, he left God behind in his life. That boy grew increasingly spiteful and angsty. He was sure that Christianity was for the weak and helpless. Delving into various schools of men's wisdom didn't help matters. They only served to make him worldly-wise, proud and mysoginistic. He saw the world as a big cauldron of hate and apathy which would only be fuelled on by further apathy and hate. Despite all his sinful ways, God waited by the wayside, always hoping that someday, he'd return as His child. The loss of his father came as a shock which he found too hard to handle. Suddenly, that cauldron of hate which he had always envisioned seemed to have spilled over into his life, drowning his thoughts and emotions. In this seeming darkness, he turned to darkness and endeavoured further through sin and self-destruction. He committed various acts which would have shamed both his earthly and Heavenly Father. And yet, still, God waited by the wayside, always hoping that someday, he'd return as His child. The boy, now a young gentleman, picked up a copy of the "Devil's Apocrypha" one day, and began reading and sympathizing with his Heavenly Father's enemy. He adopted the attitudes and practices which lay behind the seeming "wisdom" of the book. He condemned the Bible and everything it stood for. He attacked and humiliated Christians whom God had sent to fight for him. He indulged in self-praise and self-love. And yet, still, God waited by the wayside, always hoping that someday, he'd return as His child. That young gentleman soon found that his past sins had caught up with him. They were in a way, the reason for his compulsion to leave. The ensuing change brought about much resentment and uncertainty within him and he resolved to shut the door on all emotions and friendships. But something changed this time. God moved, and sent him companionship and fellowship. God moved, and sent him a sheperd to guide and protect him from the ways of the world. God moved, and touched his heart so deep that he could no longer deny or blaspheme against God. And yet, despite acknowledging God, this young adult still struggles with his past worldly ways. And yet, still, God waits by the wayside, always hoping someday, he'd return as His child. That young man stands here today, amazed at his Heavenly Father's love and patience. That young man stands here today, shocked on hindsight at what he had accomplished during his time as an adolescent. However, that young man stands here today, determined never to stray from his Heavenly Father ever again. That young man wants God to take his world apart. Jars Of Clay - Worlds Apart I am the only one to blame for this Somehow it all ends up the same Soaring on the wings of selfish pride I float too high And like Icarus, I collide With a world I try so hard to leave behind To rid myself of all but love To give and die To turn away and not become Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves More deeply than the oceans More abundant than the tears Of a world embracing every heartache Can I be the one to sacrifice Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow (To love you) Take my world apart (To need you) I am on my knees (To love you) Take my world apart (To need you) Broken on my knees Said and done, I stand alone Amongst remains of a life I should not own It takes all I am to believe In the mercy that covers me Did you really have to die for me All I am for all you are Because what I need and what I believe, are worlds apart I look beyond the empty cross Forgetting what my life has cost And wipe away the crimson stains And dull the nails that still remain More and more I need you now I owe you more each passing hour Battles between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago So steal my heart and take the pain And wash the feet and cleanse my pride Take the selfish, take the weak And all the things I cannot hide Take the beauty, take my tears My sin-soaked heart, make it yours Take my world all apart Take it now, take it now And serve the ones that I despise Speak the words I can't deny Watch the world I used to love Fall to dust and blow away I look beyond the empty cross Forgetting what my life has cost Wipe away the crimson stains And dull the nails that still remain So steal my heart and take the pain Take the selfish, take the weak And all the things I cannot hide Take the beauty, take my tears Take my world apart, take my world apart I pray, I pray, I pray Take my world apart Halleluia Lord, thank you for never giving up on me. Take my world apart, change me. Amen. Traveller fell apart at 2:55 AM