Melancholic Derivations

August 17, 2006

Spring Beckons

It's been a sunny few days, perhaps reflective of what's been festering within my soul. Despite the dark and troubled days which have incessantly seemed to gravitate around my life, I've recently begun to slowly, as they say metaphorically "chase those dark clouds away". So it becomes a possibility then, one day the melancholy will be lifted and I return to my usual self. But wait? Hasn't being melancholic actually become a part of my self-identity?

I get many comments from friends that the songs I listen to are far too disheartening, depressing and depriving of an inner happiness for myself. But can they truly fathom the depths of misery entombed within? I think not. I've always said that life is a very individual experience which you attempt to cover up by gravitating yourself towards a large circle of friends. But ultimately, experiences are there to be borne alone, feelings are there to be shouldered alone, and on Judgement Day, salvation will be decided alone. No one can say that they've lived someone else's life and understand what the other person is going through. That is why I never use the phrase "I know what you're going through" simply because its meaningless and patronising. We will NEVER know how that person is feeling, and so I don't think my song choices or the way I choose to approach life can be criticized, really.

But I digress from the point of this post. I think deep down there is a part of me that really wants to be happy, like all normal human beings. Inside the nether regions of my soul, there is a longing to be loved, just like how God created the first man and woman. I want to live life to the fullest, to meet people and to hunger for success and bliss. And I want to do it all under the bright sunlight of God's joy, not under the dark clouds of melancholy. But you know, sometimes, it becomes such a part of you that to remove it from your life would be to remove character from your life.

Choices, choices. Dilemmas abound.

"I dare you to move, I dare you to move, I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor."

Traveller fell apart at 1:05 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		August 17, 2006 Spring Beckons It's been a sunny few days, perhaps reflective of what's been festering within my soul. Despite the dark and troubled days which have incessantly seemed to gravitate around my life, I've recently begun to slowly, as they say metaphorically "chase those dark clouds away". So it becomes a possibility then, one day the melancholy will be lifted and I return to my usual self. But wait? Hasn't being melancholic actually become a part of my self-identity? I get many comments from friends that the songs I listen to are far too disheartening, depressing and depriving of an inner happiness for myself. But can they truly fathom the depths of misery entombed within? I think not. I've always said that life is a very individual experience which you attempt to cover up by gravitating yourself towards a large circle of friends. But ultimately, experiences are there to be borne alone, feelings are there to be shouldered alone, and on Judgement Day, salvation will be decided alone. No one can say that they've lived someone else's life and understand what the other person is going through. That is why I never use the phrase "I know what you're going through" simply because its meaningless and patronising. We will NEVER know how that person is feeling, and so I don't think my song choices or the way I choose to approach life can be criticized, really. But I digress from the point of this post. I think deep down there is a part of me that really wants to be happy, like all normal human beings. Inside the nether regions of my soul, there is a longing to be loved, just like how God created the first man and woman. I want to live life to the fullest, to meet people and to hunger for success and bliss. And I want to do it all under the bright sunlight of God's joy, not under the dark clouds of melancholy. But you know, sometimes, it becomes such a part of you that to remove it from your life would be to remove character from your life. Choices, choices. Dilemmas abound. "I dare you to move, I dare you to move, I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor." Traveller fell apart at 1:05 AM