June 29, 2006
Bitterness can do strange things to human reasoning, including distorting a perfectly sound view of it. Melancholy can also cloud judgement, bringing dark clouds to bear over perfectly fine skies. In a sense, perhaps that's what's been happening recently with regards to me and you. I know I said I'd stay calm, I'd move on and I'd continue living life, but the truth is...everything I've said over the past month has been out of spite and disgust.
I may be able to deny what you've done for me as a facade, but I can never deny that look I saw in your eyes when you told me you loved me. That was something anyone would be hard pressed to fake and I refuse to doubt its authenticity. I may be able to deny everything you've told me about your feelings for me, but I can never deny every single time you've looked out for my best interests, taken care of me and shared your dreams with me. Those were moments which cannot be dismissed as fabrication.
It may seem like I'm going back on everything I've posted for the past month or so, but I don't really think that's the case. I believe that you loved me, and that it was for real but deep down I know that it is really time to move on. I don't want to hold you back or anything, to make you think like you owe me anything to move. Time will be a judge of all of that, I am merely playing along to its fine tune. Time will go on its eternal journey, bringing new experiences and memories to the forefront of our conscious mind. Time will bring forth new people, new friends perhaps even new relationships? But the thing about time is that its paths are seldom erased and stay forever in the sands of time within our mind.
And that bit of Time we shared is what keeps me going everyday, fulfilling expectations and accomplishing the impossible.
"Can you see the sun tomorrow, beyond those dark clouds and rainy skies...We all search for a brighter tomorrow but find ourselves ploughing on today."
Traveller fell apart at 12:58 AM