May 29, 2006
I realise my last post made me sound very bitter, angry and perhaps even vengeful. But quite the contrary, I'm feeling quite calm and collected about the entire thing. It's perhaps been too long for me to even scarcely feel the hurt or anger and I'm honestly fine about it all. Things always happen for a reason, and they always occur within God's framework. That's something I've realised and it's definitely comforting to know. Everything occurs for a reason. Even the seemingly most hurtful things you're experiencing.
Church this week was about the Lord's vengeance. Funny how God chooses to speak to you through sermons if He chooses to. So what was the message quintessentially about? We as believers, should not attempt to carve out our own vengeance because in our finite capacity as humans, we fail to envisage perfect vengeance. In carrying out what we perceive as rightful justice, many more lives and people are hurt in the process. In the end, we can only leave it to God who knows all and sees all. He will see that our injustices are redressed and that those who hurt us are duly punished. But in the meantime, we should live out our lives in joy and faithfulness. I think the message struck a chord within me due to its relevance. Thoughts of vengeance and hate did cross my mind these past few weeks and I had contemplated on revenge. But I realise it takes energy to actually hate someone and that is an ounce of energy I cannot spare.
This hurt I will release, let go and leave to the Lord. Just like King David in his desperation at being pursued by his enemies, I will leave it to the Lord to redress my wrongs. The focus is on other things now and the hate should not consume me. Only then will life seem more fulfilling.
"You destroy those who tell lies; bloodthirsty and deceitful men the Lord abhors. - Psalm 5:6"
Traveller fell apart at 7:32 PM