February 14, 2006
Valentine's For The Rest Of Us
It's that time of the year again. I think I commented on the stupidity some people can get into on this day last year, and even in pragmatic unromantic Singapore, the extent to some of the stupidity is quite ridiculous. I think in the midst of all the fervour over it being a day for romance, people forget that it's also International Friendship Day. Scant attention is also paid to the fact that the parental love, sibling love and all sorts of platonic love can all also be celebrated on this day. It was something I chose to focus on this year, something which I've often neglected and taken for granted.
I visited Grandma yesterday night and had a nice chat with her. Although most of the time, we're barely able to communicate, last night was good in a strange sort of way. Her smiling eyes telling me to be a good boy and study hard in Australia and to listen to Mom, and yet, I detected a hint of sadness in that her favourite and only grandson was going on hiatus for another year. I think Grandma misses me, and I miss her too. If it's something I've realised these past few months, it's that things are hardly there forever if you take them for granted. There's this innate fear in me that Grandma might not be around when I next return and it's freaking me.
I also went down to Dad's grave today. Strange to think that it's been 8 years since he passed away and yet how it seems like just yesterday. Alot of memories were re-visited, and I almost heard the laughter I displayed as a kid when Dad would crack one of his lame jokes. As I stood looking at his final resting place, somehow I knew inside that I wanted to make Dad proud; to make my life a success and to be the best that I can be. The grief and anguish at losing him may have receded, but does missing his absence ever? Whatever it is, I'm just grateful to God for giving me those 15 years of him as my father.
I was also grateful for the opportunity to meet you today; because frankly it wasn't something I was expecting. Not after all that's happened, you'd be perfectly justified not to want to see me. But today's lunch was pleasant and reminded me of times long gone. Which was really sweet. I'm just glad things are the way they are and after everything, it's turned out alright.
All in all, it's been a good Valentine's. Grandma, Dad and you. What more could I ask?
" Everything that I am, comes from a better man. All that I've said and I've done, can't rewrite my history, right there for all to see, I'm just my father's son. "
Traveller fell apart at 9:02 PM