Melancholic Derivations

February 04, 2006

God. And Abit Of Shannon Noll.

It was shaping up to be one of those nights. The nights where thoughts begin to wander, where memories begin to flood the cerebral. Desperate to avoid the pain, I got on my knees and cried out to God. I needed deliverance, and at this point I felt only He could provide it. True to His word, He did not disappoint. Answering my call in the faintest voice which pervaded the silent still air of the room. But in His speech, I found comfort and solace from everything this world had thrown at me.

Me: Lord, if it were Your will, take this pain from me. Remove every single trace of hurt inside me and restore my will, my love for people and You.

Yahweh: Child, you have suffered this pain for many nights and yet, only now have you come to me. Why is this so? Do you doubt My power? Do you lack faith?

Me: I...must admit, I have fallen away recently. I have indulged in grief far too much and have found that I have lost my bearing, my sense of direction. It's as if I'm caught in a tsunami wave with no control over my direction. I have failed You.

Yahweh: But child, have you really failed me? I see not the flaws on you as if to condemn you, I see only your good traits. You have lacked faith and yet you have always defended My name in times of debate. This I admire and am pleased with you.

Me: Lord, I'm troubled. I've been in turmoil these past 2 months and yet, try as I may, time does not heal the wounds. I need Your help, need You to erase what's happened. Seal the rift. Do anything. Just release me.

Yahweh: And why would you want that? Would you really want to erase everything? I have allowed all these to happen for reasons you may not see. The events which happened have formed beautiful memories for you to keep in the rest of your days. The mistakes you've made to destroy those memories are a lesson for you to learn. Has not everything worked out according to plan? Life is about savouring what I have granted and learning from what you have ruined. Ultimately, you'll become a better person.

Me: Lord, perhaps you are right. I've been so focused on my own perceived suffering I've not thought about how I've hurt others. I've neglected empathy, of how my actions may have affected others. All this time I've lived a self-centric life and I know I can't. I want to change and only You can bring about that.

Yahweh: Think about others before you go about your daily affairs. Recognise that you are but a speck of humanity in an ocean full of souls. Remember Christ and what He did on the cross and how unselfish that was. I have made Man with a capacity to love and share and this is something which should not be beyond you. Try, my child, for there is nothing better in this world.

Me: Thank You Lord, you never fail. Do, you?

Yahweh: No child, I love you guys too much to do that. By the way, press 'enter' on your laptop.

I did, and this song came filtering through. A smile filled my face as I thanked God and Shannon Noll. Haha.

Shannon Noll - Lift

I know you're hurting
Feels like you're learning about life the hard way
And it ain't working
Seems like forever that you've been falling
It's time to move on, your life is calling, yeah.

This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again

Chorus:
'Cause I know how hard it can get
You've gotta lift, you've gotta lift!
Sometimes that's how it is, but I know you're stronger, stronger than this
You've gotta lift.
You've gotta lift.

When you can feel your whole body's aching
What's left of your heart it won't stop breaking
You've gotta let go, you took a hit
It's time to pick up now, move on from this

This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again

You've got to lift yourself up above all the hurt
Don't give in
Wipe your eyes and remember you're better than this
Let them know that they took their best shot and they missed
Come on and lift

And in that instant, that moment. It felt as if the Almighty Creator of the universe was holding a private audience with insignificant me.

Traveller fell apart at 2:51 AM


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