January 07, 2006

New Year Resolution(s)?

We've come to that time of the year again; a time where resolutions are made and most often, not adhered to. But all the same, resolutions afford us much-needed direction in a year which looms ahead. A year which might otherwise threaten to be directionless. I've never believed in making resolutions that I don't intend to keep, which is perhaps why I've never made new year resolutions unless I really mean them (this of course amounts to almost no resolutions made). A directionless year ahead then? Not quite so.

Things have changed, and it's in times like these where adversity deals its toughest card that you begin to see a need for change. It's no different for me then, in a year where I've realised alot of my limitations and begun to shed some of that overhyped arrogance. I'm not as smart as I thought I was, I'm definitely not well-to-do as I might have once thought and I'm definitely not hot in demand when it comes to the job market. A half dozen rejection letters to my internship applications may have something to do with this.

In youthful folly, I adopted a phlegmatic approach to school and extra-curricular activities. And it is precisely this phlegmatic approach which has returned to bite me in the arse; the importance of having a good extra-curricular activity record cannot be over-stressed, as with outstanding academic grades. And in all these areas, I have failed, leaving me with a barren and unattractive job resume. Regret initially sank in when I realised this but regret is something which destroys a man's self-confidence and subsequently, his future. There is no time for regret, only time for redemption.

I've come to a conclusion; a resolution if you will. A more pro-active and self-seeking lifestyle is what I need. The way I see it, I'm in the prime of my life now and if I don't seize the opportunity to learn everything I possibly can, I'd enter my 30s a very wide-eyed and gullible person. The time for sitting around waiting for things to happen has passed. The time for proving wrong those who thought me useless, lazy and certain never to make it big in life has come. Joel will push on, driven by determination and grit.

But would you permit me just a few moments of weakness? The flashbacks flood my mind with happy times. Times where being idealistic was a possibility.

Traveller fell apart at 12:36 AM

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