December 31, 2005

Gripes and Whines. Well, almost.

It would be easy for me to sit down and grumble about how the festive season's gone. Quite simply put, it's been an emotional rollercoaster which I've been hard pressed to stomach. Then again, the Christmas season has never been one which I've cherished at any point in my life. When I was young, frequent visits to Tan Tock Seng Hospital would be the order of the day around this time due to my father's seemingly never-ending series of health problems. I remember watching television and feeling envious of all the advertisements with families soaking in the Christmas cheer, whilst I'd be scouring the corridors of the hospital looking for Dad's room. This year then, it's been no different. Not Dad of course, he's already gone. Rather, it's the deep feelings of sadness I've experienced which threaten to derail my entire 2006.

I was tempted to dedicate this post to whining about my problems when I realised my own short-sightedness. I guess as human beings, we're all so focused on our own problems and issues and we fail to sometimes realise how lucky we already are. How then, can I complain about the little issues I'm facing when people all over South-East Asia are mourning the anniversary of the Dec 26th tsunami? How can I bear to say I've lost something when the victims of Katrina lost everything? I've met people who don't even have enough to go by and wander the HDB blocks of Singapore during the festive season doing surveys on others for a mere $5/piece. I've had a friend who's going to lose his father to cancer and can't even go home for his last days because he can't afford it. If I, as a person, can still look these events around me in the eye and claim I am troubled, then I must be a selfish bastard.

But really, perhaps it's been my own selfishness which has led me into this hole I've dug for myself. And even in everything that's happened, I believe there are lessons to be drawn. After all, life is one big learning journey and if we fail to learn from past mistakes, we run the risk of entering a vicious circle of repetition. I was devastated initially, but I'll be strong about everything. Life goes on and we can't afford to fall and lie still. Whatever it is, I'm praying this is for the best. May 2006 be a productive and enjoyable year for me. Happy New Year all. If it's happy at all.

"It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true."

Traveller fell apart at 8:50 AM

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