May 16, 2005

Learning Contentedness

I think it's only recently that I've begun to realise how fortunate I really am. In life, I think far too often, we find ourselves caught up in the eternal pursuit of wealth and power so much so that we lose sight of the things that we already enjoy. The embrace of a parent, the friendship of a buddy, the warmth of a loved one. So essential to life and yet, so easily overlooked. It's very cliche, I know. The idea that people are always telling us to appreciate the things that we might regret missing out on later on. But isn't it a funny occurence? That despite all the warnings, all the words of caution, we still commit the same mistakes over and over again. In the grand scheme of things, the material possessions we gather are merely droplets of sand in the sandbox we call 'life experiences'. And yet, so much of our attention is perenially focused on acquiring them.

That's not to say I haven't been guilty of that sin. I have, I must admit, looked to solace and comfort from material possessions. I've always wished for a bigger house, a nicer car or a credit card that I can use to buy anything I want with. But I think over the past month, I've begun to really appreciate the people in my life. I've begun to see past their worth and usefulness to me, as I used to do. And you find when you learn to see past people's value to yourself, you begin to truly love and care for them as you ought to. It's strange to think that I've taken 22 years of my life to fully understand this facet of life. Yesterday, when Chung Wei woke up an hour early to prepare a scrumptious breakfast for the household, I really felt like giving him a hug and telling him how much I appreciate what he does. Whenever I have those late night chats with Christian in the living room about life in general, I'm always amazed to realise how simply he sees things and yet how much insight I actually gain from him. In my thoughts, I remember my Mom and how much she would nag me and how I'd resent it but actually be grateful inside (Actually, I still do get a little bit irritated. Heh).

Perhaps being with her has brought out a lighter, more humane side in me I'd never thought was inside of me. Because it's in her that I see that this world isn't all cynical and dread as I once pictured it. And it's in times like these that I see people for who they really are, not what they're worth to me. It's in times like these, that I could not ask for more.

"These are the moments, I know heaven must exist. These are the moments I know all I need is this. I've found all I've waited for, and I could not ask for more."

Traveller fell apart at 12:59 PM

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