February 20, 2005

Timing

I think in life, many of the issues and problems we contemplate and encounter regularly entail a sense of timing. Everything in life, is all about timing really. And timing is what makes the difference between a success or a failure, a date or an evening alone, a life saved or a life ended. If there are lessons to take from my time back here in Singapore for the summer, this must be it. That timing and opportunity are not to be squandered, to be gambled away on the table in which we must all play that poker game called 'life'. To have seen an opportunity for happiness or accomplishment slip away is as good as stabbing yourself in the back ; quite literally, you're sabotaging your own future. And I think recent events have forced me to re-think my policies and regards with reference to certain affairs of the heart.

I'm not sure whether it was mere chance or coincidence that she replied the way she did. But I'm glad. Because it shows that we are two of a kind, that we share similar interests and tastes, that perhaps there is more to us than just a laugh and friendly banter. To say that I'm falling for her would be premature, simply because I feel that the period we've spent together has been too short a time for me to say I like her. But there are definitely the budding thoughts and intentions which I try to hold back, but come bursting through like a strained dam. I've had thoughts about what life would be like if I did go after her, if our friendship would be ruined as a result, if we would be happy together and I've realised that sometimes, I think too much. Why not just enjoy the ride and take things as they come?

Because Joel, that's just the way you are. Calculative, contemplative, analytic and risk-fearing.

But isn't it a risk worth the while? Something which I won't live to regret?

But you won't. You'll just sulk and hide in the corner, watching and waiting. Till it passes you by and you hang your head down in agony all over again. The agony not because you missed the opportunity but because you succumbed to your apprehension yet again.

Ever felt like a song totally fit the mood? Well, this one certainly does. If only I had the guts to play and sing it for her. That'd be the day, Joel.

Lifehouse - You And Me

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time.


'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you.

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here.

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't why, I can't keep my eyes off you.

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right.

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of...

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't why, I can't keep my eyes off of you.

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive.

Yeah, I can't keep my eyes off of you.


Traveller fell apart at 2:57 AM


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