Melancholic Derivations

February 08, 2005

Red Season

"Joel, when are you going to settle down? You see your cousins all brought their girlfriends and boyfriends. Where is your girlfriend?"

Unexpected words which my grandmother uttered the moment she saw me at reunion dinner. It's strange, really. Because I'm only a tender 22 and last I checked, marriageable age is at least 5 years down the road. So what's all this fuss about me showing up at reunion dinner unaccompanied? But grandma's question did get my head spinning. I started asking myself when I was ever going to find someone and manage to bring her to my annual reunion dinner. It was a daunting question and the headache was compounded when all my cousins showed up at the dinner table with partners-in-tow. The pressure really mounted from then on.

I think the entire concept of Chinese New Year is a novel one. Which other culture practices this unspoken meeting point somewhere in late January to early February, where extended families meet and exchange gossip and small talk? The red packets are secondary, seriously they are. When you get to your 20s like me, you start to realise the amounts inside dwindle and the red packets become more symbolic than significant. What becomes important is the act of meeting up, filling in and basically just watching how your relatives age. It's been no exception for me either. Somehow, this year's Chinese New Year seems...dampening. It's not that I don't like my family nor the festivities. It's more of a realisation that with each passing year, some people from the family pass away and you realise their absence at the next Chinese New Year. It's a thought which creeps into your mind and goes 'Time is a fleeting, and we are all dying. Slowly but surely.' Morbid yes, but so true.

Barely 2 weeks before my return to Melbourne. Mom's been nagging me to get started on my packing and I must admit, for good reason as well. The amount of stuff I have to bring back begins to pile up more and more as I go on with the packing. It's a phenomenal amount of luggage I have to carry back really. But I think, in a sense, it's symbolic of the amount of emotional luggage I have to lug back to Melbourne as well.

"When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel? Don't know. But for now, the darkness beckons."

Traveller fell apart at 11:26 PM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		February 08, 2005 Red Season "Joel, when are you going to settle down? You see your cousins all brought their girlfriends and boyfriends. Where is your girlfriend?" Unexpected words which my grandmother uttered the moment she saw me at reunion dinner. It's strange, really. Because I'm only a tender 22 and last I checked, marriageable age is at least 5 years down the road. So what's all this fuss about me showing up at reunion dinner unaccompanied? But grandma's question did get my head spinning. I started asking myself when I was ever going to find someone and manage to bring her to my annual reunion dinner. It was a daunting question and the headache was compounded when all my cousins showed up at the dinner table with partners-in-tow. The pressure really mounted from then on. I think the entire concept of Chinese New Year is a novel one. Which other culture practices this unspoken meeting point somewhere in late January to early February, where extended families meet and exchange gossip and small talk? The red packets are secondary, seriously they are. When you get to your 20s like me, you start to realise the amounts inside dwindle and the red packets become more symbolic than significant. What becomes important is the act of meeting up, filling in and basically just watching how your relatives age. It's been no exception for me either. Somehow, this year's Chinese New Year seems...dampening. It's not that I don't like my family nor the festivities. It's more of a realisation that with each passing year, some people from the family pass away and you realise their absence at the next Chinese New Year. It's a thought which creeps into your mind and goes 'Time is a fleeting, and we are all dying. Slowly but surely.' Morbid yes, but so true. Barely 2 weeks before my return to Melbourne. Mom's been nagging me to get started on my packing and I must admit, for good reason as well. The amount of stuff I have to bring back begins to pile up more and more as I go on with the packing. It's a phenomenal amount of luggage I have to carry back really. But I think, in a sense, it's symbolic of the amount of emotional luggage I have to lug back to Melbourne as well. "When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel? Don't know. But for now, the darkness beckons." Traveller fell apart at 11:26 PM