Melancholic Derivations

February 14, 2005

Of Hearts & Arrows

It's here again, that season of love where roses suddenly cost $50 a stalk. Where stupid people do absolutely ridiculous things all in the name of romance and idealism. It's strange after all, how love loses its lustre the moment all these things are stripped from it. How love becomes just another raw emotion the moment it isn't tragic, romantic or thrilling. Saunter through the streets of Orchard Road later today and you'll see my point. The commercialism, the needless waste, the false sense of romantic value which all culminates in a night of debauchery. It's abit overwhelming frankly, how human civilisation has managed to make a holiday originally planned for massive sex orgies in the Roman Empire into what Valentine's is today.

I've recently been told by close friends that I'm too picky when it comes to girls. Somehow, I don't quite agree. I don't think there's anyway that I could be too fussy choosing a prospective girlfriend, especially when it concerns my future and basically the next 40 years of my life. They say that looks don't matter, that it's the character that counts. I beg to differ, really. It's a foolish and naive assumption to make about the opposite sex. Looks DO matter, whether we like it or not. Modern society has been conditioned to offer advantages and favours to the better-looking. It is a fact of life and it is in no way a different thing when it comes to affairs of the heart. Truth is, she's got to look good. Well, at least good enough for me not to gag or feel pissed off if I were to face her 24/7/365. Pragmatically, and rather frankly speaking, there's also got to be a healthy amount of lust I feel when I look at her.

Don't get me wrong now. I'm not implying that looks and lust should be the basis of a relationship. Getting together for the wrong reasons would be suicidal, not just emotionally but financially as well. Looks should never form the platform on which you base your feelings for the other person. But somewhere, somehow, in that complicated equation we often draw on in order to call our obvious affinity to our significant other, there's got to be a mix of 'looks' and 'healthy lust'. Seriously. It's idealistic and stupid to believe that looks don't matter and I'm willing to take anyone on in a debate to prove to me otherwise. And I think when all's been said and done, I've come up with some really important and yet, pragmatic conditions for my prospective wife/girlfriend.

1. She's got to be really brainy - This is really important. I cannot stress this enough. I will not tolerate dimwittedness and I have absolutely no patience for simple-minded people. Call me an elitist or simply intolerant, but stupid people will never gain a foothold in my hierarchy of friends nor will they get more than 10 minutes of my time. But of course, brainy here doesn't just mean intelligent academically. She's got to be street smart and witty as well.

2. She's got to be pleasant looking to me - Yet another important point I cannot stress enough. I've got to be able to stare her in the face for many days straight without feeling pissed off. It's true. It's a fact. Let's not deny it, looks DO matter. Some people say I've high taste and the girls I have my eye on are usually really pretty. But hey, this is your ultimate happiness you're talking about here. Can you afford to be wishy-washy?

3. She's got to be opinionated - I don't want to be talking to a block of wood all day who doesn't have her own opinions and judgement on matters. Politics, theology, entertainment news, current affairs. I want to be able to discuss with her at length about all these issues and be able to engage her deeply in an involving conversation. A certain amount of feistiness about her would be really appealing as well. An ability to think independently and yet, be able to offer support whenever I need it.

4. She has to be ambitious - I don't want a phlegmatic housewife who stays home all day and tends to the kids. I want her to be engaged in society, to be involved in daily affairs and to be able to stand as my equal in the working world. Yet, I want her to be able to offer her support to me in case I need it. She has to be career-driven and yet, able to put aside those ambitions in the event that family needs her more.

Selfish of me? Perhaps. But hey, you can't afford to be care-less about picking your future spouse. Settle for the best, nothing less. Especially when it concerns your future happiness. Any less? You'd just be short-changing yourself.

"I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain."

Traveller fell apart at 2:31 AM


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Where stupid people do absolutely ridiculous things all in the name of romance and idealism. It's strange after all, how love loses its lustre the moment all these things are stripped from it. How love becomes just another raw emotion the moment it isn't tragic, romantic or thrilling. Saunter through the streets of Orchard Road later today and you'll see my point. The commercialism, the needless waste, the false sense of romantic value which all culminates in a night of debauchery. It's abit overwhelming frankly, how human civilisation has managed to make a holiday originally planned for massive sex orgies in the Roman Empire into what Valentine's is today. I've recently been told by close friends that I'm too picky when it comes to girls. Somehow, I don't quite agree. I don't think there's anyway that I could be too fussy choosing a prospective girlfriend, especially when it concerns my future and basically the next 40 years of my life. They say that looks don't matter, that it's the character that counts. I beg to differ, really. It's a foolish and naive assumption to make about the opposite sex. Looks DO matter, whether we like it or not. Modern society has been conditioned to offer advantages and favours to the better-looking. It is a fact of life and it is in no way a different thing when it comes to affairs of the heart. Truth is, she's got to look good. Well, at least good enough for me not to gag or feel pissed off if I were to face her 24/7/365. Pragmatically, and rather frankly speaking, there's also got to be a healthy amount of lust I feel when I look at her. Don't get me wrong now. I'm not implying that looks and lust should be the basis of a relationship. Getting together for the wrong reasons would be suicidal, not just emotionally but financially as well. Looks should never form the platform on which you base your feelings for the other person. But somewhere, somehow, in that complicated equation we often draw on in order to call our obvious affinity to our significant other, there's got to be a mix of 'looks' and 'healthy lust'. Seriously. It's idealistic and stupid to believe that looks don't matter and I'm willing to take anyone on in a debate to prove to me otherwise. And I think when all's been said and done, I've come up with some really important and yet, pragmatic conditions for my prospective wife/girlfriend. 1. She's got to be really brainy - This is really important. I cannot stress this enough. I will not tolerate dimwittedness and I have absolutely no patience for simple-minded people. Call me an elitist or simply intolerant, but stupid people will never gain a foothold in my hierarchy of friends nor will they get more than 10 minutes of my time. But of course, brainy here doesn't just mean intelligent academically. She's got to be street smart and witty as well. 2. She's got to be pleasant looking to me - Yet another important point I cannot stress enough. I've got to be able to stare her in the face for many days straight without feeling pissed off. It's true. It's a fact. Let's not deny it, looks DO matter. Some people say I've high taste and the girls I have my eye on are usually really pretty. But hey, this is your ultimate happiness you're talking about here. Can you afford to be wishy-washy? 3. She's got to be opinionated - I don't want to be talking to a block of wood all day who doesn't have her own opinions and judgement on matters. Politics, theology, entertainment news, current affairs. I want to be able to discuss with her at length about all these issues and be able to engage her deeply in an involving conversation. A certain amount of feistiness about her would be really appealing as well. An ability to think independently and yet, be able to offer support whenever I need it. 4. She has to be ambitious - I don't want a phlegmatic housewife who stays home all day and tends to the kids. I want her to be engaged in society, to be involved in daily affairs and to be able to stand as my equal in the working world. Yet, I want her to be able to offer her support to me in case I need it. She has to be career-driven and yet, able to put aside those ambitions in the event that family needs her more. Selfish of me? Perhaps. But hey, you can't afford to be care-less about picking your future spouse. Settle for the best, nothing less. Especially when it concerns your future happiness. Any less? You'd just be short-changing yourself. "I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain." Traveller fell apart at 2:31 AM