Melancholic Derivations

January 18, 2005

The Raw Truth

After watching the movie Closer, I begin to realise my own inadequacies in terms of experience at relationships. As I was viewing the complicated transpiration of a four-way love "square" of cheating, lying and longing, I asked myself questions like why love wasn't a simpler affair. Couldn't a man just love ONE woman and stay faithful to her all his life? Why do people have to long for another and stray from people who they're really meant for the moment someone momentarily more interesting comes along? If only it were that simple. Life isn't just about black and white situations, and like everything else in relationships, there always appear grey areas in situations where we find ourselves immensely embroiled in. Unfortunately for me, this grey area in relationships hasn't been something I've been able to experience first-hand. I haven't been through rough rides in most of my relationships, I haven't seen the ugly side of people in my partners and for the most part, I'm considered an 'infant' in terms of experience in dealing with affairs of the heart.

But what is this driving force which leaves people unsatisfied even when they seem to have the most beautiful of romances? I believe it's an emotion called excitement. There's a tinge of excitement in getting together with someone new, in finding out their perks and little secrets. There's a flood of emotion in knowing that you're doing something which will draw dire consequences if you're caught. Then there's the fact that once the initial enthusiasm of a relationship wears down, you end up wanting to seek excitement in order to rejuvenate it. And if you don't find it in your partner, you end up searching for it in someone else. Perhaps that's why most people find it easy to succumb to the cheating bug, precisely because they've lost that initial spark of excitement. But of course, I'm inexperienced remember? So what I say now might not actually count for much.

There's a saying which goes "The wise learn through the pain and experiences of others". I am tempted though, to conclude that the statement is flawed. Because some things in life you cannot experience and truly learn from unless it is self-inflicted. You've got to actually experience the emotions for yourself and see what it feels like before you learn from it. For example, you'll never learn how it is to climb a mountain unless you personally make a trip up to Mount Everest. So that's it with life. Some things you learn through the experiences of others, and some things you learn through your own pain, blood, sweat and tears. Relationships are one of them. You learn through the betrayals, heartbreaks, selfishness and lies. You learn through the love, emotion, feeling and happiness.

The only consequence of learning through this method though, is the jaded vigour we bring to our final relationship. Do we really want to be less than 100% for our eventual spouses? I don't know anymore. I'm too inexperienced as I say and all I can do, is to watch and learn.

"And so it is, just like you said it would be."

Traveller fell apart at 12:22 AM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		January 18, 2005 The Raw Truth After watching the movie Closer, I begin to realise my own inadequacies in terms of experience at relationships. As I was viewing the complicated transpiration of a four-way love "square" of cheating, lying and longing, I asked myself questions like why love wasn't a simpler affair. Couldn't a man just love ONE woman and stay faithful to her all his life? Why do people have to long for another and stray from people who they're really meant for the moment someone momentarily more interesting comes along? If only it were that simple. Life isn't just about black and white situations, and like everything else in relationships, there always appear grey areas in situations where we find ourselves immensely embroiled in. Unfortunately for me, this grey area in relationships hasn't been something I've been able to experience first-hand. I haven't been through rough rides in most of my relationships, I haven't seen the ugly side of people in my partners and for the most part, I'm considered an 'infant' in terms of experience in dealing with affairs of the heart. But what is this driving force which leaves people unsatisfied even when they seem to have the most beautiful of romances? I believe it's an emotion called excitement. There's a tinge of excitement in getting together with someone new, in finding out their perks and little secrets. There's a flood of emotion in knowing that you're doing something which will draw dire consequences if you're caught. Then there's the fact that once the initial enthusiasm of a relationship wears down, you end up wanting to seek excitement in order to rejuvenate it. And if you don't find it in your partner, you end up searching for it in someone else. Perhaps that's why most people find it easy to succumb to the cheating bug, precisely because they've lost that initial spark of excitement. But of course, I'm inexperienced remember? So what I say now might not actually count for much. There's a saying which goes "The wise learn through the pain and experiences of others". I am tempted though, to conclude that the statement is flawed. Because some things in life you cannot experience and truly learn from unless it is self-inflicted. You've got to actually experience the emotions for yourself and see what it feels like before you learn from it. For example, you'll never learn how it is to climb a mountain unless you personally make a trip up to Mount Everest. So that's it with life. Some things you learn through the experiences of others, and some things you learn through your own pain, blood, sweat and tears. Relationships are one of them. You learn through the betrayals, heartbreaks, selfishness and lies. You learn through the love, emotion, feeling and happiness. The only consequence of learning through this method though, is the jaded vigour we bring to our final relationship. Do we really want to be less than 100% for our eventual spouses? I don't know anymore. I'm too inexperienced as I say and all I can do, is to watch and learn. "And so it is, just like you said it would be." Traveller fell apart at 12:22 AM