December 22, 2004

The past few days have been busy to say the least. My once sombre thoughts of me having little friends have been flung out the window as I have been out with at least four different sets of friends this past week. In such situations, however, we have to discern who really are our true friends, because fair-weather friends are so common these days and yet, loyal and trusted friends are fast becoming a rarity.

Soccer on Friday with Jansen and Khang was great. It's been a long time since I've gotten any exercise and I was shocked to find that I couldn't even last half an hour running on the street soccer court. I think my problem is that even though I make plans to go jogging on a particular day or do some weights at a certain time, I always fail to discipline myself to do so. As I've told my Mom before, I really need a trainer to shout at me and push me to pump my iron and keep fit ; and sadly, it's becoming a reality. I find it hard to motivate myself to get blood running through my veins or to run the fat out of my arteries because the problem with exercise is, it's inherently intrinsic value involved. You don't see the effects immediately and instead, you suffer for your troubles in the form of muscle aches and fatigue. But I figure I'd better start jogging or the tummy I'm slowly developing is going to turn into a beer belly. And that is a horrid way to go into the New Year.

Seeing my army friends on Sunday was refreshing, and yet familiar. None of them have changed really. Patrick is still cynical, Chris still behaves like he's twenty years older than he really is, Xianli is still a man of few words and Jiehan's still strongly atheist, and proud of it. In a way, seeing them brought about alot of memories. And it's strange to think that, we as people are growing and developing and in time, our personalities still remain the same although our outlook on life may have changed. In the army, we constantly complained about how it sucked to be in there, but whenever we meet, it seems inevitable that the topic of conversation switches to army matters. It's an irony really, and I think Pat summed it up best when he told us off, "Finish army already still wanna talk about army stuff. Can you all please not talk about army anymore?" Perhaps it's a cycle of life, that we really look to greener pastures when we're on the other side.

Can a platonic friendship really develop between a guy and a girl? I'm beginning to doubt that theory seeing as how things have developed in one of my circles of friends. Perhaps my friend is right, that when girls and guys are in a clique, it is inevitable that some love triangle or relationship problem is bound to arise. But if that is so, that is so unfortunate because it would mean that platonic friendships are a lie. That they will never exist between a guy and a girl and that is so... Victorian. Whatever it is, things like these that arise within a clique should never undermine the initial friendship already formed, if not, it is never worth it. Going for a romantic relationship should never take precedence or expense at the unity of a clique.

Friendship should always come over romance. That's what I feel at least. We've been deceived by the media and popular culture today. We are constantly told that love conquers everything and that if we love someone, we should put down everything and chase our dreams. Such a huge lie. There are repercussions and complications which are seldom faced by these make-believe characters in movies. Reality is a vastly different dimension from what is portrayed by popular culture. Moderation in affairs of the heart is oft seen as an unwillingness or half-heartedness. What people fail to realise is that moderation can still be seen as a form of showing love. It need not be romantic love really. When you love your friends enough to know that starting any form of romantic involvement would hurt them, you'd stop yourself. Carrying on with it is only complying to selfishness which will ultimately destroy the friendship. Love for friends. It's an often underrated statement in today's society and yet, so much more important than romantic love. Very often, amongst friends, we are flippant and condescending. We fail to see the real needs that our friends have and instead, choose to be sarcastic and spiteful, all the while hoping that they'd see it as a joke and play along. Very soon, the friendship becomes merely a facade of one, barbed with hurtful jokes and snide remarks. So does true friendship really exist today? I say no. It is a rare occurence, one which only comes when both parties are inherently aware of the duties and responsibilities of a TRUE friend.

I'm grateful for all my friends, to God for placing them all in my life. Because all of them serve a different purpose, they awake me to different aspects of my character I might not otherwise have discovered. They help me see the different types of characters which exist in this world and indirectly teach me how to minister to different types of people. My friends are integral in my life, and to give them up would be to destroy a part of me.

Traveller fell apart at 1:12 AM

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