December 25, 2004

"How then, can we as mere mortals in our finite knowledge, seek to understand a God who exists outside our concept of reality and yet, succeeds in weaving Himself expertly into the fabric of our consciousness?" - Joel E, 2004.

An incident today left me fully aware of my own limitations as a mere mortal. It found its message aimed directly at my heart and to be honest, I was more than a little bit disappointed, both in myself and that person. But even in this seeming letdown, there was a lesson to be learnt. And that is the upside of everything we experience in life; that even in the midst of adversity or trouble, there is always something to be gathered or experienced garnered. Through this incident, I learnt that I could do everything in my power to persuade, but ultimately, it would not be me who decides salvation. I may plant a seed, but I will never ensure it grows. The initial dismay at the entire situation disheartened me at first, but I remembered Job and how God allowed him to be troubled in order to strengthen his faith. It's a funny thing, how we initially give ourselves in to despair when trouble looms, failing to see the eventual good that may come out of it. Perhaps we as humans are trained to live life in the moment, to see things as they are in the present. Seldom do we look ahead, especially in the face of adversity. But I guess I've learnt a valuable lesson today. I can never force salvation on anyone and it is only through the grace of God will a person be moved. In that respect, I am but a powerless mortal, bounded by the finite realities of our Earth.

Plans for a quiet night on Christmas Eve were shattered today when the gang decided to head to Rouge. You see, I've never spent Christmas Eve quite like I did tonight. Loud music, alcohol and dancing lunatics were never the order of the day on previous Christmas seasons. It'd be more like a quiet dinner at home or perhaps, a nice meal at a less peak-hour affected restaurant. Even after today's clubbing session, I still fail to understand the logic of it all. Why pay money to go into a place which damages your ear drums, poisons your liver and corrupts your mind? Does the stress of everyday life really get to people so that they have to resort to letting loose in such a fashion? If that is so, someone please bring these bosses out and have them all shot because they are obviously doing something to their workers which is worse than torture. In any case, tonight was fun only because it was with my close friends. The atmosphere could definitely have been better.

I stood in the club amidst the overwhelming crowd of party-goers as they danced and jiggled their way through the club under the influence of more than their fair share of Bourbon or Vodka. As I stared at the flashing lights and the bartop dancers, the entire club seemed to close in on me and for a moment, the earth-shattering music was replaced with a calm which I felt all the way within my soul. Perhaps this is what they mean when they say that God pervades even the unlikeliest of places. I guess I must have blanked out for more than a few seconds because very soon, I had people asking me if I was alright. But at that moment, I thanked God for that moment of peace, that tranquility He restored within me in the cauldron of lawlessness which I was in.

It is due to our existence in this plane of reality governed by Time that we require constant reminders for most of the things in our life. It is no different for me, I require that constant rebuke or moment with God, just to know that He is in control. And I am thankful that He gave that to me tonight. Because tonight, my reality stood at a standstill and time seemed to stop as I sampled that slice of eternity which awaits us in the End.

Traveller fell apart at 5:07 AM

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