November 06, 2004

It Takes Time

The footsteps on the gravel were not hard to miss. Calculated and yet hesitant, the crackling sound soon gave way to a gradual louder one. The figure began digging deeper into the pathway, hoping to somehow slow himself down on this pathway to certain mishap. His mind was split in two. All his life, he had been ignored by his parents, his peers and his friends in church. Yet, he knew what he was about to do was a sin, punishable by eternity in the burning embers of Hell. Hell? What was hell? It certainly felt as if hell was here on earth, where no one knew he existed, no one cared whether he failed his exams, no one wanted to have anything to do with his life.

He had obtained his mid-term results from school and they weren't good. Half-expecting a hiding from his father, he returned home through the back door. And yet, when he did muster up the courage to tell, there was no reaction. No shouting. No screaming. Nothing. Just a casual nod and nonchalant shrug of the shoulders. Did his father not care that he had not done well in school? That he was set on the path to self-destruction? Apparently not. And so it had been for the most part of his life, he'd done things to gain attention and had failed at every step of the way.

It wasn't only his father. His friends in school seemed not to acknowledge that he existed. A party which went on and involved his entire class only came to his knowledge when he was passing by Billy Tyler's house and saw his friends on the lawn posing for pictures. Even the wise cracks and practical jokes he played on the geeks in school did not serve to earn him popularity points. No one cared. No one laughed. No one bothered.

A rumble on the ground on which he stood jerked him from his deep contemplation. It was time to face his destiny and to embrace his fate. There was no better way surely. He needed to do something which would finally attract everyone's attention, even if it meant that he would not be around to see it. He needed to find release from the pain he had been through. The pain most people found themselves unable to empathize with. The pain of rejection and apathy.

With his eyes shut, he stepped out onto the tracks and the last thing he saw, was the approaching headlights of a west-bound train.

Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f**ked up and everything's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk

I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone.


Traveller fell apart at 1:51 AM


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