October 18, 2004

Planned For God's Pleasure

I am in a pensive state. It's not just about the exams really, although they do play a major part in the culmination of my current state. I'm scouring through past year papers and practicing MCQ questions all in the quest to secure 30-40% of my marks for the entire semester. The good thing about exams in Monash is that they aren't the "be-all-and-end-all" of your entire semester's work. Over here, things are separated into essays and assignments across the semester and finally, the exams at the end of the year. Works out better if you ask me, at least it ensures that students continue to work hard across the semester without just slacking off during the year and then mugging hard for the final paper.

But the exams aren't the reason for my pensive state. I could barely sleep last night as I tossed and turned in bed thinking about life. Many thoughts passed through my mind at that point in time and I would love to have the ability to jot them down as they came to me but unfortunately, they disappeared into the back of my sub-conscious perhaps never to be unearthed again. I got off my bed and decided to surf the net for abit when I came across this song which meant so much to me on that sleepless night. I felt uplifted and relieved by it. It's strange really, that music can do so much more than provide entertainment for us. Music ministers to us, music lifts our spirits, music complements our visual outlook on things, music is versatile. Have you ever been jilted and cheated by your partner and decided to turn on the radio and suddenly realise "Hey, this song is my story." It's happened to me many times, undoubtedly, and to be honest, it freaks me out how music can sometimes adequately describe my situation at that point in time.

Music speaks to me, subliminally, subconsciously and often, it provides more than just an ambience. I've come to a conclusion. Music is a part of my life that can never be missing. Without music, life loses most of its meaning. For me at least.

Colin Hay - Overkill

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications


Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination


Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away


Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation


At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill


Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day


I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications


Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
It's just overkill


Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away


You can't be in too deep, Joel. The implications are too steep . The complications...too hard to handle. But can I? Can I force this on myself?


Traveller fell apart at 10:39 PM


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