Melancholic Derivations

October 05, 2004

I just realised that despite having their heavy metal, bad-boy image, Staind actually writes some really good songs. Luck would have it that I would be scrolling through someone else's music collection when I came across his collection of Staind. "Epiphany", "Fade", "So Far Away" are just some of the excellent titles which Staind boasts but the one which resonated heavily within me was "Outside". My fingers trembled as the last sinews of guitar play trailed off into silence and I reached for the repeat button.

I knew it. This song characterised some bad memories I had of the past. I'm not blaming anyone, nor am I accusing or lamenting my fate. I just... This is getting hard to even type as my fingers seem to have gained a life of their own. As I listened to the song, horrid nightmarish scenes of my life flashed before my eyes as the arteries in the whites began to bulge and swell. Yes, I nearly cried. I nearly passed out from the pain. It is a pain which I carry and continue to soldier on with despite the increasing difficulty. It is a pain I sling upon my shoulder which grips onto me with claw-like talons, sinking deep into my flesh of emotions. It is a pain which has come to taste sweet after it has numbed my sensation to pain. I am a freak of nature surely. Someone who loves misery and covets melancholy. Someone who despises happiness and attacks joy. Oh, I want to change. And only He can do that. So I'm praying an earnest prayer tonight. Change me, Lord.

Staind - Outside

And you,
You bring me to my knees, again,
All the times
That I could beg you please, in vain,
All the times
That I felt insecure, for you
And I leave
My burdens at the door

Chorus:
But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I felt like this won't end
Its for you
And I taste what I could never have
It was from you
All the times that I've cried
My intentions, full of pride
But I waste more time than anyone

Chorus:
But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I've cried
All this wasted, it's all inside
And I feel, all this pain
I stuffed it down, it's back again
And I lie, here in bed
All alone, I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be ok

Chorus:
But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

I'm on the outside. Indeed I am.

Traveller fell apart at 11:13 PM


	Now Spinning Heroes Theme - Heroes Soundtrack The Protagonist joel \| content \| driven \| focused \| motive-oriented \| cynical \| analytical \| God-fearing \| jaded \| Frequent Reads Ben Christie Christine Davina Eugene Jasmine Jeremy Jo-ann Kay-Lene Mac Tammy Vivek Past Rants January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 Tap My Shoulder		October 05, 2004 I just realised that despite having their heavy metal, bad-boy image, Staind actually writes some really good songs. Luck would have it that I would be scrolling through someone else's music collection when I came across his collection of Staind. "Epiphany", "Fade", "So Far Away" are just some of the excellent titles which Staind boasts but the one which resonated heavily within me was "Outside". My fingers trembled as the last sinews of guitar play trailed off into silence and I reached for the repeat button. I knew it. This song characterised some bad memories I had of the past. I'm not blaming anyone, nor am I accusing or lamenting my fate. I just... This is getting hard to even type as my fingers seem to have gained a life of their own. As I listened to the song, horrid nightmarish scenes of my life flashed before my eyes as the arteries in the whites began to bulge and swell. Yes, I nearly cried. I nearly passed out from the pain. It is a pain which I carry and continue to soldier on with despite the increasing difficulty. It is a pain I sling upon my shoulder which grips onto me with claw-like talons, sinking deep into my flesh of emotions. It is a pain which has come to taste sweet after it has numbed my sensation to pain. I am a freak of nature surely. Someone who loves misery and covets melancholy. Someone who despises happiness and attacks joy. Oh, I want to change. And only He can do that. So I'm praying an earnest prayer tonight. Change me, Lord. Staind - Outside And you, You bring me to my knees, again, All the times That I could beg you please, in vain, All the times That I felt insecure, for you And I leave My burdens at the door Chorus: But I'm on the outside I'm looking in I can see through you See your true colors Cause inside you're ugly You're ugly like me I can see through you See to the real you All the times that I felt like this won't end Its for you And I taste what I could never have It was from you All the times that I've cried My intentions, full of pride But I waste more time than anyone Chorus: But I'm on the outside And I'm looking in I can see through you See your true colors Cause inside you're ugly You're ugly like me I can see through you See to the real you All the times that I've cried All this wasted, it's all inside And I feel, all this pain I stuffed it down, it's back again And I lie, here in bed All alone, I can't mend But I feel Tomorrow will be ok Chorus: But I'm on the outside And I'm looking in I can see through you See your true colors Cause inside you're ugly You're ugly like me I can see through you See to the real you I'm on the outside. Indeed I am. Traveller fell apart at 11:13 PM