August 17, 2004

It is the peak of the night and this is where I'm at my most contemplative. Dark thoughts continue to swirl and plague my deepest recesses as I contend with issues I know are imperative to face. I'm worried. Worried about being unable to carry through with commitments, worried about what is to come, worried about what has already past. We struggle with worry and despair every second and minute of our lives and grapple with issues we'd rather not deal with. Perhaps it is true after all, the human life is one of suffering and dilemmas. The animals, though dim-witted and possessing no free will, at least find themselves free from the burdens of contemplative thought. Truly, truly, it is a blessing to be ignorant sometimes!

Bah, but what do I know? I am merely a recent entrant into the world of adults. The world of adults. Interesting. I'd always wondered what it'd be like and frankly, I don't quite like what I see at the moment. It is deceptive, hurtful and satirical really. What I've seen so far of life after 21 has been nothing short of disappointing. Even as adults, we become more like children. Even as children, we dream of becoming adults. What an irony, what a joke. Then again, many things in life are. It's just up to us to unravel those little ironies that line the paths of our tragic lives. Only when we acquire the ability to see the humour in these dark ironies do we find some meaning and pleasure.

Only then, will we be relieved. Or will we?

Traveller fell apart at 1:13 AM

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